<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Exodus by corvidae9</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29911611">Exodus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidae9/pseuds/corvidae9'>corvidae9</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Exodus [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen, Shakarian - Freeform, all the shakarian, epic space friend adventures, interspecies liaisons revisited, i’m still sad hanar can’t wear sweaters, post-destroy head canon number two, post-reconstruction badasses are still badass, tankbaby!grunt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:54:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,763</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29911611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/corvidae9/pseuds/corvidae9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard realizes that she might actually be running out of fight after her latest Post-Reaper reconstruction, but is retirement even an option? The question is put on hold as she and the Normandy are sent on a mission to accompany the turian Primarch’s ship to a system that can assist with a dextro resupply. By all accounts, the mission should be a milk run... except for the inside threat to the Primarch’s life and the power vacuums left behind on trashed colonies, obviously. When things go sideways from the start, all she can do is lean on her team and keep doing what she does best. (Shep/Garrus, Tali, Ashley, Vega, Grunt, Joker, Victus, random assorted turians, and an elcor merchant marine)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Exodus [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200836</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set in a post-destroy mostly-canon; after that, it’s all made up. This fic began life as a maybe 1000-word scene fragment written in response to a tumblr prompt that I can’t even find anymore. The scene appears in its final form at the end of chapter 10… so apparently, I needed 30K words of setup in order to release it into the wild. Then I used it to cram as many Shep/Garrus and team!Shep scenes as possible. </p><p>Several other things I need to mention:<br/>- As a computational science nerd IRL, I should probably apologize for my back-of-the-envelope calculations on FTL capabilities based on the ME wiki.<br/>- The Pleiades are indeed an open cluster, but the Aeneas system within it is entirely fictional.<br/>- I’m aware that generally we don’t use “marine” and “soldier” interchangeably, but the ME trilogy does it, so I’m going with it.<br/>- Grunt’s return to Tuchanka has been delayed just a little bit from canon.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>###</p>
<p>Dark. Cold. Something jabbed into her back. Her right knee was bent so far back, she thought maybe the thing she was half-sitting on might be her own boot. The air tasted like burn; like incinerated Husks gone to ash. She coughed, and it would have made her scream if there had been any breath left to do so. She lifted her hand to her comm in a haze of pain but nothing happened; pinned arm, no comms, come to think of it, no helmet. There was just the wind blowing far away screams and shouts, gunfire, and more ash over the concrete and metal grave into which she had not been carefully deposited. A hand poked up through the rubble nearby and she called out reflexively, "Hey-- you still with me?"</p>
<p>It hurt like a bitch, and the fingers didn't move. But now voices were suddenly somewhere nearby. </p>
<p>"Here!" said one. "Right there. Are those N7 designations, or am I seeing things, Chief?"</p>
<p>"Both, probably," said another. "Still with me soldier?" said the same voice from closer, echoing her words from so long ago, and she shut her eyes.</p>
<p>"Commander Shepard, Normandy, SR2," she croaked out. "And I am pretty fucking glad to see you." Her words were immediately followed by a wet cough. She saw stars that had to have been inside her eyelids, because the next thing she knew, a hand was touching her shoulder and a shape loomed over her holding a light. She could hear her name murmured from one soldier to another, until it was finally being shouted, along with cheers. That seemed... good news.</p>
<p>"Commander, hold still. We're --shit. We're gonna get you out of here," said the voice that might have been the Chief. Sounded a little like Vega truth be told. Or maybe Cortez. Or any other marine who might be dead or alive or--</p>
<p>"I'm not going anywhere, Chief," she smirked. Shepard was fairly certain at this point she no functioning limbs to her name, which was a record, so far, unless you counted Alchera, which she couldn't count around Garrus, who wasn't around to count with, which was shitty because this was exactly the kind of bullshit that happened when he wasn't around to count with, which was shitty because she wasn't sure he'd made it, with or without the Normandy. None of that made sense in her head either.</p>
<p>A cold creeping sensation began to radiate from her neck, causing a split-second panic before she recognized the tingle of the medigel. Her head lolled as far as it could as some of the pain began to bleed away, and she focused on the fingers she had seen poking up between the slabs half-covering her. Damned if it didn't look like her own omnitool. </p>
<p>"Alright, boys. On my count. Three--" </p>
<p>It was Chief again. Shepard tried to ask what the plan was, but her mouth wasn't following orders.</p>
<p>"--two--"</p>
<p>Two. Humans, Turians, Asari, Krogans, Salarians, they all needed two of a lot of things to get by. Hands. Lungs. Eyes. Asscheeks. Ha. Wait-- Krogans had four lungs. Krogans had four of a lot of things, didn't they?</p>
<p>"--one--"</p>
<p>Just Shepard, at the end of the world, again. She could overhear their comm chatter, and tried to tell them to raise the Normandy and let them know she was alive. Of <i>course</i> her crew had survived. There had to be a reason she was still here. </p>
<p>"-lift!"</p>
<p>The slab rose up off of her body and she let loose a hoarse, croaking howl, all rational thought fleeing in a blinding flash, taking its wounded friend and comrade, conscious thought, with it. Her battered frame slumped against whatever had been holding her up and she felt nothing more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shepard's mouth was dry and her throat stung. She tried to open her eyes, but they refused; she tried to lift her right hand to rub them and found it encumbered somehow-- not restrained but heavier than she remembered. The room was quiet, and she tried to follow suit, listening and only hearing a faraway buzz that might be voices or machines or buzzsaws or assault rifles. There was no telling. She tried to lift the left hand and it came up far too quickly, meaning that she was batting her forehead suddenly with a bundle of what had to be bandaging. That was good, then-- bandages meant she couldn't have been out too long, probably. </p>
<p>"Hello?" She tried, as she scrubbed at her eyelids with the clumsy bandage mitt. "Anybody out there?" A little light had begun to come through and she focused. A wall. Steel. No frills to be seen. Fluorescent lights. A metal chair. An Alliance insignia. Alright. It could still be worse. </p>
<p>A short internal catalog of her body from where Shepard sat revealed that breathing didn't hurt as long as they were relatively shallow breaths, that her legs felt like lead but she could move them a little, that her head felt like the day after R&amp;R on Tuchanka, and that her right arm was a mess of tubing and wraps. Shepard could work with that. She tried to sit up. </p>
<p>The sounds she made were what finally caught someone's attention.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the initial shock had worn off, words began filtering in. This was Doctor... something. Something about massive damage to her ribs, lungs, sternum, hips, liver, kidneys, right cheekbone, right leg, an arm severed just below the elbow but now reattached; something about never having survived without her extensive mods; something about her charred and destroyed armor, and how she shouldn't be alarmed that her skin had taken on a yellowish-greenish tint gradient since she'd been one huge bruise that was just now beginning to change colors, where "just now" was one week post-Reapers. </p>
<p>Post. Reapers. She'd stopped him there and asked to repeat, but she had heard him right the first time. She'd relaxed a little into the pillows then, finally cracking a smile and asking for the Normandy, for her crew. </p>
<p>Then, it was something about mass relays being down; something about no one being able to raise the Normandy. Something about no clear idea of what ships were where. </p>
<p>Something about waiting to see. </p>
<p>Shepard's drug-induced haze wasn't enough to stop the pounding that began in her temples; the thrum of needing to know her crew had made it out. And of course, just as the doctor suggested that perhaps some rest, perhaps some more pain medication, as he poked at the tubes, then his omnitool, then the machines, there was a hiss of steel and carbon joints sliding. </p>
<p>A shout, and many footsteps; the doctor protesting feebly. Of course. Timing.</p>
<p>"Keelah!" A high, worried voice near tears. Tali. </p>
<p>"Report. What’s the situation?" Authoritative, but tired. Ashley.</p>
<p>"Shepard." A soft brush of rough skin against her forehead. A familiar hand at the side of her neck. Garrus.</p>
<p><i>and his voice; there it was</i> </p>
<p>Shepard smiled again as she was dragged under by the recent influx of meds.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"CIC, EDI," Shepard said aloud as she entered the lift. She wasn't limping, but it was still early. </p>
<p>"Of course, Commander," came the standard, flat reply. Shepard still felt guilty. </p>
<p>"Joker," she said into her comm as the crew saluted her onto the bridge, a little earlier than they had expected. She had postponed her date with a coffee mug to have this conversation and was not inclined to dawdle. "Get me Hackett. ASAP."</p>
<p>"Aye, Commander," the pilot replied, his voice rough. Shepard sighed inwardly as she mounted the steps to the map.</p>
<p>"Traynor?" Samantha snapped to.</p>
<p>"Commander, there's-- well. There are well over a thousand messages for you. I--" Traynor cleared her throat. "I triaged as best I could with any that weren't marked as Classified, I just don't know how they just now happened to all acquire your messaging address."</p>
<p>Shepard grimaced and turned to face Traynor. </p>
<p>"A thousand?"</p>
<p>"Yes ma'am," Traynor said. "Give or take. They're mostly thank you notes. I've left everything important as well as the most, um. The ones that I thought you should see in your inbox. The rest are in a directory for whenever you might want to review them."</p>
<p>"Thank you," Shepard managed. Gratitude was pretty much the last thing she wanted to hear when she could still look down and see the cratered and scarred Earth below. She rubbed her side absently and peered into the map. The miniature relays were colored various shades of red, coded for the extent of damage as estimated by the engineers they could reach; absolute blood red for any they could not.</p>
<p>"Commander, I've got Admiral Hackett for you," Joker's voice came through the comm.</p>
<p>"Patch him through directly to me, Joker," Shepard said, straightening her spine with a barely-visible wince. Hackett’s projection materialized over her omnitool, framed in bright orange.</p>
<p>"Shepard," boomed Hackett. Even his projection seemed tired. "Damned good to see you." As though they hadn't had the same conversation yesterday.</p>
<p>"Good to be seen, sir," she answered automatically. "You wanted an update on the summons from Primarch Victus."</p>
<p>"Report," Hackett said unnecessarily.</p>
<p>"They're planning to begin FTL to the Pleiades cluster in eight standard. It’s the closest system that’s indicated they can help with a dextro resupply. They'd like an escort."</p>
<p>"You agree that we should be volunteering the Normandy?" asked Hackett in a fashion that wasn't actually a question.</p>
<p>"I do. It's a solid plan," Shepard said with a decisive nod. </p>
<p>The Primarch's much larger ship would probably be safe without the Normandy at her heels. No one had the available firepower to spare to pose a threat at that moment-- after all, it had only been three months after the galaxy had gone to hell, after the Mass Relays had been mostly burned out. Shepard had been back on the Normandy for two, but had been theoretically out of commission until exactly yesterday. Chakwas had still not been pleased.</p>
<p>"Shepard?" asked Hackett, and for a moment, Shepard had the feeling she had missed something, which was definitely not her style. </p>
<p>"Yessir," Shepard answered anyway with a slight nod. </p>
<p>"Agreed. Begin prep for a long haul and check in with me tomorrow. We’re going to need you to check in with Trappist on the way. I’ll coordinate with Operations and have further instructions then. Be safe out there. Hackett out."</p>
<p>The connection went dead and she looked up. </p>
<p>"EDI. Mandatory all hands to the galley at--" she checked the time; ten minutes would be enough "--0830. Crew not on deck need to be on comms, understood?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Commander. I will notify the crew,” replied EDI’s disembodied voice. </p>
<p>Shepard poked at her omnitool and sent Hackett the details of the request, then stepped back down. </p>
<p>"I--" she considered momentarily, then focused on Traynor. "Need coffee."</p>
<p>“Of course, Commander,” said Traynor with a small smile.</p>
<p>With that, Shepard turned and headed back to the lift.</p>
<p>###</p>
<p>It might only have been day two of full duty, but Shepard had begun making rounds of the ship as soon as her reconstructed leg had reliably held her up, often conferring with Lieutenant Commander Williams (officially, the officer in charge until yesterday). The cybernetics in Shepard’s body had been working nonstop to rebuild her mangled body, but she was finally beginning to feel like herself again with the help of rest, caffeine and regularly-spaced meals, things she hadn’t always had time for even before the cataclysm. At first, she had made jokes about not being able to handle the relative calm, but before long she stopped when she realized that whether it was funny or true varied from day to day.</p>
<p>Shepard made her way to the quiet galley and found Garrus waiting, next to the counter that held a mug of something that steamed. His eyes tracked her over his own mug of something that smelled a little like roses and a little like birdseed and for which Shepard was glad she didn’t have to come up with excuses not to have to taste it. </p>
<p>“I thought you might stand me up, Commander,” he rumbled, slowly lowering his mug without taking his eyes off of her. It was honestly more annoying than arousing, considering he was lingering over her erstwhile injuries rather than anywhere more interesting. She narrowed her eyes at him on approach.</p>
<p>“I’d like to note that I have been right on time for you despite overwhelming odds more than once,” she said, and suddenly she couldn’t contain the smirk that played at the corner of her mouth. “Noveria. Omega. Earth.” she stepped right into his personal space and reached around him for the second mug. “Night before last,” she added under her breath as she took a sip, gratified by the strangled sound that he made, and the weak cough he faked to cover it. His free hand circled her back gently as she pulled up on her toes with barely a complaint from her knee.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the coffee,” Shepard said with a small smile, pressed a kiss to his mandible, and then took up a far less intimate position beside him, small of her back pressed to the counter. He did not however remove his arm. </p>
<p>“Williams made it. I still can’t figure out how bitter roasted bean tea became a beloved habit of your kind,” he said with only partially feigned distaste. </p>
<p>“I should probably go thank her, then,” said Shepard, making as though she were about to walk away. Predictably, the hand on her side tightened and held fast.</p>
<p>“Sorry Commander. I hear someone called an all hands. You can’t sneak off and miss it now.” </p>
<p>Shepard sighed theatrically. “Killjoy.” She relaxed partially against him and took an experimental sip. It was as right as it could get under the circumstances.</p>
<p>Garrus lowered his voice. “You talked to Hackett about Victus?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said, voice pitched low to match. </p>
<p>“We heading out?” There was something in his voice that belied both anticipation and concern. It was easy to pick out, considering she felt much the same way.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she repeated. There was a long-delayed nod, then she took a large sip. “Sure are.”</p>
<p>“Figured as much,” Garrus breathed. “We could--” he started at the same time as she said, “You know--” </p>
<p>They both stopped and shared a look that silently agreed to take it up later, and returned to drinking out of their respective mugs. After one more moment, Garrus glanced casually about (as though there were anyone left aboard that would take issue with the Commander and the gunnery officer sharing a bunk), dropped a kiss on the top of her head, and pulled just far enough away to make it look like they hadn’t been leaning on one another, not that anyone would have fallen for it. Old habits tend to die hard. </p>
<p>Shepard straightened up just as a quiet whooshing sound and low chatter indicated that the crew was beginning to filter in. In a moment, she was checking in with Tali and the engineering staff and assuring the mess sergeant that it was not an emergency. She exchanged a nod with Ashley, who made her appearance across the room, and busily avoided Dr. Chakwas’ disapproving glare when a ping from her omnitool informed her that it was 0830. </p>
<p>Loudly enough to be heard around the room, she said, “EDI, crew status.” The chatter began to die down immediately.</p>
<p>“Four crewmembers on comms, the remainder are in the central galley, Commander,” the ship’s AI responded.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Shepard said reflexively. “All right, folks. The Normandy has been ordered to accompany the Primarch’s ship to the Pleiades cluster, specifically to a star system called Aeneas, with a stop on the way at our Trappist colonies. Aeneas is the closest location that has indicated they can assist with dextro resupplies.” A quiet murmur began to spread and she held a hand up. “I called you here for two reasons. First, I want to be extremely clear-- no immediate threat has been identified. Second, Aeneas is approximately 440 lightyears away. Without the mass relay system, FTL will still get us there in approximately 40 days.” The murmur that had died down began to swell again and she gave them a minute before going on.</p>
<p>“I’m not gonna lie. The relays are in bad shape, and I can’t promise that they’ll be back up anytime soon; we’ll have to stop and regroup regularly with the Apolex, and we will be posted in the system for at least six months, so chances are we’re looking at approximately a year-long cruise. Most of you are Alliance, so you technically signed up for this, but,” she looked around, “I get that leaving Earth right now isn’t something you all might want to do.” Shepard offered a smirk. “Especially on a boring cruise with a bunch of boring turians.” </p>
<p>Ripples of laughter ran through the assembled crew. Garrus snorted a laugh, covered the top half of his face with one hand, muttering about spirits. She knew this next bit was risky, but chances were her crew wasn’t going anywhere. Probably. Over half the Earth scorched and pitted was a huge wild card.</p>
<p>“So, here’s the deal. We’re going to spend the next week taking on supplies and having the ship inspected and cleaned up, and you’ll each get 48 hours of shore leave sometime in the next few days. If you don’t want to stay aboard for this cruise, come see me privately and I’ll have you reassigned ASAP. This is the finest crew in the Alliance --hell, anywhere-- and there is no way we would have made it through the last year without you.” Shepard scanned the room, making eye contact with as many of her crew as she could. Most were still watching her, some were murmuring amongst themselves. Notably, Ashley’s arms were crossed while she stared off into space. “There is no way <i>I</i> would have made it through the last year without you. As honored as I am to serve with you, you’ve all more than earned the right to bow out. No questions asked, no hard feelings, I mean it. Shore leave rosters will be posted by 1000. Questions, comments, interpretive dance-- come see me. Dismissed.” The crew began shuffling. </p>
<p>“Williams, Vakarian. With me,” Shepard added, already heading to the lift and trusting that they were both close on her heels.</p>
<p>“Permission to speak freely, ma’am?” said Ashley as the doors to the lift shut.</p>
<p>“You’re a Spectre, Ash,” Shepard responded, tilting her head towards her XO. “Say whatever you need to say.”</p>
<p>“Spectres aren’t all that impressive without a ship,” Ashley said. “We’re just jarheads who don’t know why we’re leaving Earth right now to trail along behind a bunch of Turians.” Her glance darted to Garrus, who merely watched her, waiting for her to dig the hole deeper.  The lift arrived at the CIC level, and Shepard crossed quickly into the briefing room. </p>
<p>Shepard leaned against the console. “The Primarch is essentially trapped thirteen thousand lightyears or so from Palaven and the main body of his people, which is causing some... political unrest. We’re not honestly expecting any sort of trouble, but he has reason to believe that someone on his ship thinks the Primarch should step aside.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t help that his crew is in real danger of starving without resupplies,” Garrus added, leaving unsaid the fact that this applied to himself (and Tali) as well.</p>
<p>“...and if he tried to start back to Palaven on FTL alone, it’d be at least-- what? Three standard years if they ran it hard and the ship’s engines held up? So closer to five years, functionally.” Ashley frowned. “Shit.”</p>
<p>“Yep,” said Garrus, moving to mirror her crossed-arm stance. “So he can bank that both the Sol and Apien Crest relays will be fixed long before then, or take his chances either way.” </p>
<p>“Still,” Ashley’s frown deepened. “It doesn’t seem like he should have enemies on his own ship over that. Turians run a tight ship, and it isn’t like he can’t communicate with Palaven at all.”</p>
<p>“The Hierarchy is a hands-on government,” said Garrus. “We expect our leaders to take direct action regularly. If his decisions are delayed by communication time, then someone else is making immediate decisions back home.” </p>
<p>“Which might make it seem… what? Inappropriate?” Ashley guessed. “Like the Primarch is useless or something?”</p>
<p>“Something like that,” Shepard shrugged. “And agreed, he should still have his crew’s support, but there’s always someone out there grasping for power. So we’re coming along. And we’re going to be exchanging crew teams with the Apolex every seven standard rotations.” </p>
<p>Ashley’s eyebrow crawled upward. “Ma’am?”</p>
<p>“Officially, we’re escorting and exchanging skills.” Shepard exchanged a look with Garrus. “Unofficially, we’re trying to ferret out the real situation and keep the Primarch alive. Best way to do that is to get close and keep our eyes open.”</p>
<p>Ashley thought for a moment before speaking, a skill that she had vastly improved these past years. “I don’t like it, Skipper. Seems like this could get ugly.” </p>
<p>She had a point. Shepard nodded again. “It’s possible. It’s also possible that it just seems too cosmically stupid that anyone would consider mutiny or treason after... everything.” After the cataclysms, the deaths, destruction, and chaos.  <i>Post-Reapers.</i> It seemed fucking ridiculous, honestly.</p>
<p>“It’s probable, though, I’d say,” added Garrus. Shepard raised an eyebrow at him, and he went on. “You’re right, they do run a tight ship. There’s no reason Victus should need us, even if it involves flushing dissenters, and there’s little other reason he’d agree to Shepard’s suggestion of crew exchanges. Something else is happening on the Apolex, and the sooner we figure it out--” </p>
<p>Ashley frowned and finished Garrus’ thought with, “the sooner we get to the airlocking the traitors and going on our merry way.”</p>
<p>“Let’s hope we figure it out before then,” he said with a half-outstretched hand as if to stop that particular train of thought. </p>
<p>“Either way, those are the stakes,” said Shepard, hands on hips, “and the offer of reassignment stands for you, too, Ash, if you’d prefer it.” She turned the full weight of her regard on Ashley, who exhaled a long, thoughtful sigh.</p>
<p>“Understood, Commander,” Ashley responded, no more, no less. Shepard offered a curt nod and the meeting was over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard sat in a seat at her terminal on the CIC, working on the messages she had received, and reviewing ship status. Her side ached vaguely and the foot below her bad knee was propped on a step, but she was otherwise sound. She'd call that a victory.</p>
<p><i>... on behalf of the nations of Earth, we want to extend our deepest gratitude... </i> </p>
<p>What do you say when the UN sends a thank you note and offers you a medal? <i>No problem, guys. Buy me a beer next time you see me? </i>Shepard sighed and was saved by a ping of a new local message.</p>
<p>
  <i>Shepard. No dodging meals. </i>
</p>
<p>Shepard rolled her eyes and ignored it. </p>
<p><i> I <b>will</b> tell Chakwas</i>  came the second message a minute later. She nodded ruefully and poked a terse reply.</p>
<p>
  <i>Tali.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Shepard. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>vas Normandy, I’m in charge around here, last I checked. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>vas Bosh’tet, no dying again.</i>
</p>
<p>Shepard had to work hard to contain a burst of laughter. Tali wasn’t wrong, and it was getting late. Grudgingly she deleted the response she had initially begun and replaced it with <i>starboard observation, ten minutes. byob.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>done. see you there.</i>
</p>
<p>###</p>
<p>It took Shepard closer to fifteen minutes to stand, stretch, make her way to the galley for rations, have Duffy, the mess sergeant, shove extra 'meat'balls at her, negotiate for more coffee, and answer a short message from Hackett announcing that he was sending three new crew members along with the first shuttle of crew returning from shore leave. When she finally made it to Observation, Tali was waiting, sitting on one of the lounges facing out onto the stars. Shepard all but flopped next to her, only staying upright enough to keep her tray from spilling. </p>
<p>“That great, huh?” asked Tali, poking at a ration pack. Shepard shrugged and drew her feet up under herself to sit cross-legged, grunted once, and then decided to leave her right foot on the ground. </p>
<p>“I don’t actually have one specific, legitimate bitch,” said Shepard, settling her tray on her lap. “It’s been surprisingly uneventful.”</p>
<p>“Keelah, Shepard. You’ve just guaranteed at least two thresher maws on Callisto,” said Tali, vaguely aghast. “You may as well have said, ‘What else could go wrong?’ or ‘At least it can’t get worse’. Are you new around here?”</p>
<p>Shepard barked a laugh, straightened up and deadpanned, “Point. My mistake. Let me try again: coordinating supplies and shore leave is boring as shit, yet I can’t shake the feeling that something is coming for us on this supposed milk run, and I’m starting to think I want to drag Vakarian off, find a beach and never leave it, and straight to hell with the Hierarchy, the Alliance and pretty much everything else.” It was close enough to the truth that she had to work to make it sound ridiculous. </p>
<p>“That’s more like it,” said Tali with a laugh and a nod. </p>
<p>“Also,” added Shepard. “I’ve put us on the leave rotation for day after tomorrow. Liara’s picking us up.” It was Tali’s turn to laugh.</p>
<p>“That’s pretty ballsy, assuming that I want to spend my time being your third wheel instead of… I don’t know. Finding my own turian to give my nerve stim program codes to, or something.” Shepard almost choked on the bite of pasta she had been chewing upon. Tali grinned at her. “What? A girl can dream.”</p>
<p>“Hey, first? <i>Fourth</i> wheel-- Liara called being ‘third’. Second, I don’t want to interfere with your big plans, but if you’re serious, I can put you in the first crew exchange with the Primarch’s ship and you can start shopping for one right out of the gate.”  </p>
<p>Tali turned slowly to her, straw forgotten. “Seriously?” Shepard smirked. </p>
<p>“Perks of being Commander?” She took a huge drink from her coffee mug. “Also, this is one of the weirdest conversations we’ve ever had, and that’s saying something.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry. It’s just,” Tali started, paused, took a breath, and tried again. “I love the Normandy, and you and the crew, but. I feel so disconnected sometimes. It’s stupid.” </p>
<p>“...and you need to get laid,” said Shepard, and then shrank from her friend’s smacking hand.</p>
<p>“No! Yes! Ugh!” Tali made a frustrated sound “It’s not just that. Can we pretend I never said anything?”</p>
<p>“Nope,” said Shepard, spearing another bit of unidentified protein. “This is great.”</p>
<p>“You know what? Just take me down to Callisto when you go so that the ground can literally swallow me whole,” said Tali, poking at her straw again.</p>
<p>“Sure thing,” said Shepard with a smirk. “Though you might change your mind about what or who should do the eating by the time we get there. But I’m still pretty sure there aren’t thresher maws anywhere in the Pleiades.” </p>
<p>“I’m revising my estimate to three,” Tali said. “And they’ll probably be mutants. You just don’t learn.”</p>
<p>“At least Grunt will be entertained?” </p>
<p>“At least.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” said Shepard after several less-than-graceful mouthfuls. “How um. How’s it going with EDI?” </p>
<p>“As well as can be expected," Tali sighed and shrugged. "The neural networks fried by the blast are absolutely unrecoverable; they’re just… gone. Like sound in the void. I had to give it up. But the startup files I used to reboot her seem to indicate there are backups somewhere. So I’ve been digging.” Shepard looked up at this. “I found highly encrypted files in weird places; as in, large destructibles attached to files on the secondary ventilation system. I don’t want to get excited, but I think she left them for me. Or someone at least.” Tali shrugged again. “The protocols are advanced, but so far I think they work kind of like traditional Quarian puzzles, and I think I’m making progress by pieces and parts. Missing pieces of course, but I have to believe they’re here somewhere.”</p>
<p>“Have you said anything to Joker?” asked Shepard. Tali tsked and shook her head emphatically.</p>
<p>“I’m not that cruel. It was bad enough bringing her back online without talking to him first. He’s still avoiding me.” </p>
<p>“Sure. Imagine <i>your</i> lover gone amnesiac and losing all memories of you, but you still have to talk to her every day,” said Shepard. Tali’s gaze snapped to her. “And she’s not quite as human anymore.”</p>
<p>“I get it, Shepard,” said Tali, sounding peeved. “I just thought some chance of getting her back was better than nothing.”</p>
<p>“I’m right there with you,” Shepard said. “But I wasn’t in love with her.” She paused and considered the two years that she’d slept through, the people who had missed her and how. “Honestly, I’m still afraid he’ll be one of the people coming to me for reassignment.”</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t!” Tali exclaimed. “He loves this ship, and he--” she stopped abruptly and looked down. “Keelah se’lai,” she added on a quiet exhale.</p>
<p>“That,” Shepard agreed. “Keep working at it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the end, Shepard had two crewmembers come to her-- one who had been on the Normandy retrofit crew when they had been forced to flee the Reaper invasion of Earth. His children had been located safe in a bunker in Colorado; their mother presumed dead. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving them again, and Shepard couldn't blame him. She personally found him a posting with an old instructor from Basic and sent him off with the next round of crew on leave, wishing him the best. The other just couldn't stomach the idea of leaving Earth again; she suspected it was more than a touch of PTSD. She had Chakwas refer him to a planetside Alliance doc, and sent him off with a recommendation, her personal thanks, and an admonition to take care of himself.</p>
<p>She had no idea, but Joker considered it every day that passed. Every time he spoke to EDI’s stupid blue ball avatar, he decided to request that transfer; every time she answered and sounded a little like his girl, he changed his mind. Either way, he figured this was his last cruise, too, and he didn’t figure he’d need a reassignment afterward, either.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ashley came with her to the shuttle bay to greet the new crewmembers, and Shepard couldn’t stop smiling when the shuttle came up on the crane by way of the docking airlock. As it safely ratcheted into its assigned space, the door came up, and the wall of muscle that stood on the other side saluted smartly. She returned the salute and said, “At ease, soldier. Welcome home.”</p>
<p>“Lola!” the massive marine shouted, cracking a huge grin and stepping forward to envelop her in a hug. “Good to see you in one piece!”</p>
<p>“Again,” said Shepard ruefully as she hugged back. “But not for long if you don’t let me go.” Vega let her go and bear-hugged Ashley as well, whose genuine laughter was a welcome sound. “I see you brought a fan club, Vega.”</p>
<p>“They followed me home,” he said with a shrug. “Can I keep them?”</p>
<p>Shepard peered at the two new crew members who were staying admirably professional but looking very confused. </p>
<p>“And you are?”</p>
<p>“Gunnery sergeant Murdoch, ma’am,” said the tall, gangly blond man with the scarred chin. </p>
<p>“Corporal Johnson, ma’am,” said the small, solid brunette woman. “Operations.”  </p>
<p>“At ease, soldiers,” said Shepard with a nod. “Welcome aboard. LT Williams will drag Vega around to show him what’s new, and in the process, they’ll both help you get settled in. Duty rotations will be assigned in twenty-four hours. Questions?”</p>
<p>Both new soldiers shook their heads. </p>
<p>“Excellent, carry on.” </p>
<p>“Just like old times,” said Vega with a smile, heading straight for his favorite spot in the bay.  Shepard cringed inwardly.</p>
<p>“Let’s hope not, Vega,” she said as flippantly as she could manage, and moved more quickly than warranted back to the CIC.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shepard was already face down on her bed when the doors opened again. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn’t suppress a smile.</p>
<p>“Honey,” came the voice that indeed, slid over her like warm honey. “I’m home.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, darling. I skipped the pearls and heels,” she mumbled into the pillow. He might not be able to make out the words or the reference, but the sarcasm should have come through loud and clear. </p>
<p>The distinctive sound of armor thumping onto the deck came next, followed by zipping and fastenings and lighter fabric hitting the thin rug nearer to where she had collapsed. Shepard could picture the trail of gear very clearly in her mind.</p>
<p>“You are wearing far too many clothes,” Garrus said, inserting one finger into the back of her pants and tugging upward, easily lifting her middle off of the bed. “Honestly. How are you comfortable like this?”</p>
<p>Shepard snorted a laugh and feebly swatted behind her in his general direction. “I’m not,” she replied. “It was just too much work to stay standing one second longer.” </p>
<p>Garrus heaved a long-suffering sigh, and with minimal effort, rolled her onto her back. Looming over her as he did, he began unfastening her shirt. Her heart began to race, and she tilted her head at him, completely willing to let him do all the work. There had been enough times in those first few weeks after she’d been released from the hospital where she really had needed the help that he at least knew what he was doing. Now it was just fun, even distracted as she was.</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I want to keep doing this,” she blurted out. It wasn’t exactly what she’d intended to say. Garrus froze, his whole body going rigid, his expression equally stiff. Her hands came up immediately and covered his. “No, no, I mean, keep doing that,” she smiled. “Really, do that a lot. You’re good right where you are. It’s…” it was her turn to sigh. “Everything else.”</p>
<p>“Shepard,” he exhaled loudly and resumed unbuttoning and unbuckling and poking at skin as it was exposed just to get a rise out of her. “You really live to scare the shit out of me, you know that, right?” </p>
<p>“Please,” she said, swatting a poking finger again.  “The hell would you do without me?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I <i>know</i> what I do without you,” he rumbled, shaking her lightly side to side to wriggle her pants from her hips. “Believe me, no one needs that again.” He tossed them over his shoulder with a negligent flip.  He paused and eyed her. “You’re going to have to work with me here.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” she grumped, all theater. She pulled her arms free of her unbuttoned shirt and tossed it unceremoniously aside, finishing with a flourish. He took it as an invitation and set a knee on the bed, slowly stalking upward to loom over her again, this time on hands and knees. </p>
<p>“Better,” he all but growled, and she flushed, skin going bright red radiating from her throat, upwards to wash over her face and leave her ears burning, and down her chest across her newest scars and right into the Alliance-issued sports bra. He nuzzled her neck and added, “I <i>love</i> that whole, turning pink thing you do, have I mentioned?” </p>
<p>“Good thing, too,” she breathed, threading her fingers up underneath his fringe. “You’re the only one who’ll ever see it again.” </p>
<p>“So,” he said. A tentative nibble. “Tell me about this thing you don’t want to keep doing.” </p>
<p>Shepard swore under her breath and all but melted back into the pillows. Garrus looked up. “Or we can do that later?” he tried. She waved it off.</p>
<p>“This... <i>bullshit</i> saving the galaxy from itself,” she said, knowing she sounded like a whiny little bitch the moment it came out of her mouth, and knowing she was with the one person that wouldn’t see it that way. “I’ve just… I think. I might finally be running out of fight.”</p>
<p>Garrus shifted to settle on the bed next to her, letting his hand loosely fall on her hip. Shepard turned to face him and was met by the turian equivalent of a raised eyebrow. “You’ve seen more fight than any other living being in the galaxy. I think you’re entitled.” </p>
<p>“I’m also not ready to retire to a houseful of human-turian babies,” she added. Not that the futile attempt to create them wasn’t entertaining enough. “And I know Victus needs us.”</p>
<p>“I get it.” </p>
<p>“This is just so--” Frustrating. Confusing. “Stupid.” </p>
<p>“Shepard,” Garrus repeated with a little more force, squeezing her hip to catch her attention. When he had it, he ducked his head to make and hold eye contact. “I feel the same way. It seems like...” he took a breath. “Seems like there are places that need repair rather than more wreckage.”</p>
<p>“What the hell do we do now, then?” Shepard said with a grimace. There had always been a clear path before her, even if it had been strewn with rogue Spectres and Collectors and Reapers with no clear plan for survival, much less victory. What do you do for an encore after saving the galaxy and being rebuilt? Twice?</p>
<p>“What we always do,” Garrus said. His subharmonics were doing the thing she was starting to recognize as uncertain, but reassuring nonetheless. “We get the job done and we come home. Roughly a year should be plenty of time to figure this out.” Shepard couldn’t help a snort of laughter.  “What?” he asked.</p>
<p>“You have a really twisted idea of home, Vakarian,” Shepard said, voice pitched low as she tangled her foot around his knee and tugged him closer. </p>
<p>“And I wouldn’t trade her for anything,” he said, ever so disingenuously.</p>
<p>“Just so you know,” she replied, the corner of her mouth turning upwards again at his antics, dragging her toes along the back of his knee and up his calf spur. “This is exactly how you get into a girl’s good graces.”</p>
<p>“The word you’re looking for, Shepard--” He shifted again, mirroring her expression in an appropriately Turian fashion, his fingers wandering along her hip and ghosting over her belly, leaning in to breathe the end of his sentence against her ear. “--is ‘pants’.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Skipper? Do you have a minute?”</p><p>“Of course,” said Shepard, who looked up from her terminal in the CIC in time to catch Ashley shifting from one foot to another. </p><p>“Briefing room?” Ashley offered.</p><p>“Yeah,” agreed Shepard, standing and taking a few careful steps as her knee warmed up. She waited until they had exited the CIC proper before she said anything again. “Everything alright?” </p><p>“Permission to--” Ashley started as the doors shut behind her, but Shepard cut her off with a look. “Right,” she finished. “I don’t know if I need to be on this mission.” </p><p>Shepard exhaled heavily, crossed her arms, and leaned on the railing around the hologrid. She’d been waiting for this ever since their original briefing on the subject, but she wanted Ashley to lead the conversation. “Any particular reason?”</p><p>“I don’t know that you need me, Shepard,” Ashley said with a shrug. “I feel... extraneous. You don’t need two Spectres on a low-threat transit.”</p><p>“And how does the Council feel about that?” asked Shepard.</p><p>“They’re the ones that contacted me and suggested that I stay and get involved in Terran Ops.”</p><p>Shepard pulled a face that spoke volumes. “I resent their attempt to steal my XO. The Normandy does need you around. You took good care of her while I was flat on my ass.”</p><p>“You were still making crew rounds the minute you came back, even if it took days hobbling around, stopping to take a breath when you thought no one was looking,” said Ashley with an eye roll and an exasperated gesture. “I may have kept the wheels moving, but the crew only saw you pissing off Chakwas and working your ass off to get back to them.”</p><p>“EDI,” Shepard said in the general direction of the ceiling. “Cease all surveillance in the briefing room, level ten; authorization Shepard six-nine-one-nine.”</p><p>“Audio and video surveillance are now disabled, Commander. Should you need to contact me further, please utilize your personal communications,” EDI responded. “Logging you out.”</p><p>“Oh,” said Ashley, crossing her arms. “It’s like that?” </p><p>“It is,” said Shepard. “You’ve been in my shadow for too long.” The phrase <i>‘leadership potential overshadowed by association with Shepard’</i> sprang immediately to mind, and she winced. “You are an amazing soldier, and have grown into a hell of a leader. And you’re a fucking badass besides. You deserve your own command.”</p><p>“No! I didn’t mean--” Ashley tried, but Shepard held a hand up. </p><p>“I know. But that’s how I feel about you. Hell, that’s how I feel about Vakarian, but good luck peeling him off of me. He’s pretty much screwed.” Ashley barked a laugh, and Shepard shot her a small smile. “You, on the other hand, have a chance.”</p><p>“I feel like an asshole for thinking it, though. Like it’s… a betrayal or something.”</p><p>“It’s not. Believe that. Between you and me, I’m thinking…” Shepard sighed. “And I mean it, this is strictly off the record, but.  <i>We</i>’ve been thinking that this might be our last underway. Garrus and I, both.” Ashley’s eyebrows shot up. Shepard crossed her arms, stared into the vacant space in front of her, and went on. “I thought that I was just going to get up off of the ground in London and keep fighting, but it turns out I might be done. I gave my word to see the Primarch to Callisto safely, and I’m getting him there in one piece if it kills me. Again. But once we get back, I think it’ll be time to give command of the Normandy over to you. Permanently. There’s no one else I’d want to take her.”</p><p>“Are you kidding? What do you plan to do?” Ashley said incredulously. “Settle down in the country and take up golf? Gardening? What the fuck would you even do in retirement? Do not tell me you’re going to start... popping out kids or something.”</p><p>Shepard snorted a hard laugh, “Right. Yeah, no. I don’t know. But I didn’t say ‘retire’; there has to be some rebuilding effort somewhere that could use a hardass Spectre.”</p><p>“Still. Shit, Shepard. That’s…” Ashley gestured, lacking a word for it.</p><p>“Crazy,” finished Shepard, finally meeting her eyes again. “But that’s exactly how I’m starting to feel right now, and I can’t keep pretending that I’m not. Tired and a little batshit. Mostly tired.” Silence reigned for a long moment, then Ashley nodded.</p><p>“I hear you.”</p><p>“I support your decision, whatever it may be, Ash. Even if you stay on Earth, it’s not like it’ll be hard to find you once we get back,” Shepard said. “And I wouldn’t hold it against you. You’re still the only one I’d feel comfortable handing the Normandy to.”</p><p>“Please,” said Ashley with an eyeroll, warding her off with an extended hand. “I’m staying. I had already told the Council I was posted to the Normandy and unavailable, but the more I thought about it, I wanted to talk it through and… Anyway. I’m staying.”</p><p>“Good,” said Shepard, reaching out to put her hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “Tell anyone about what I said and I’ll break your knees and claim Spectre authority.”  </p><p>Ashley laughed. “Does that even work when it’s another Spectre you’re knee-breaking?”</p><p>“Do you want to find out?” asked Shepard in that maddening tone that sounded like she was only half kidding.</p><p>“I’m just wondering. For a friend,” said Ashley.</p><p>“So that’s a yes,” Shepard said. Ashley tilted her head.</p><p>“I’m not actually going to say anything.”</p><p>“I know,” said Shepard, meeting her eyes. “I trust you.”</p><p>“Good,” said Ashley. “Because you can.”</p><p>“Good,” Shepard echoed with a nod and turned for the door. “Because I’m still putting you in charge while I’m on leave. You comin’?”</p><p>Ashley exhaled a, “Yes ma’am,” straightened up, and followed her out.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Shepard was wearing a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of low-slung black jeans, held up by a wide, studded belt that housed a maglock for a single handgun, barely covered by her beloved N7 hoodie. She stood at the CIC railing, in conversation with Ashley when she heard the lift, followed immediately by the sounds of Tali chattering about the drive core punctuated by Garrus’ low, more sedate commentary. They came into view and Shepard did her level best to stay focused on Ashley, but her attention had definitely taken a hit.</p><p>“Yeah, no, you’re done. Get out of here,” said Ashley with a dismissive hand wave. Shepard grinned and aimed a tiny air punch at her shoulder. </p><p>“Spectre Williams, you have the conn,” she said, facing Ashley and backing down the steps from the map platform. “I’ve got a date with two beautiful women and a tall, dark, and handsome man with wildly attractive scars.” Traynor made an amused sighing sound under her breath and the crewman at the station across from her whistled low.  </p><p>“Whatever your nefarious plans, fit ‘em in 48 hours, Commander,” said Ashley.  </p><p>“Don’t worry, Williams,” said Garrus, himself dressed in civvies. He caught Shepard’s waist as she hit the last step of the platform, then wrapped both arms around her middle, pulling her flush to his chest in an uncharacteristic public show of affection while aboard the Normandy. “I’ll get them back before we’re due to exit the system.”</p><p>A grinning Shepard shrugged, hands out as if to say there wasn’t anything she could do about it. </p><p>“Wait, do we really get to stay out until whenever?” asked Tali. “Because I could--”</p><p>“48 hours, kids,” said Ashley, crossing her arms. “And no shootouts.”</p><p>“Aww, Mom,” said Shepard, crossing her own arms over Garrus’. “You’re no fun.”</p><p>“Beat it before I change my mind,” Ashley said, managing to maintain her stoic grimace. Tali made a face and turned toward the airlock, lifting a hand to say goodbye. </p><p>“Fine. I see how it is,” Tali said. “Save the galaxy and you still only get 48 hours to drink and-- uh. Relax.”</p><p>Garrus laughed and released Shepard, who took the final step down and gave Tali a friendly shove toward the lift. He held a fist out to Ashley, who rolled her eyes even as she bumped it. </p><p>“Get off my ship,” she grumbled. “And drink one for me!”</p><p>He turned on his heel and saluted lazily as he followed Tali and Shepard. </p><p>“Yes, LT Spectre XO, ma’am. Will do.”</p><p>“Me too,” called Shepard.</p><p>“Me three!” called Tali, just before disappearing around the corner.</p><p>“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” added Shepard. Ashley rolled her eyes.</p><p>“And just what the fuck would that be?” she asked.</p><p>“Beats me,” said Shepard with a lazy grin over her shoulder. “But if you figure it out, let me know.” </p><p>Ashley waved her off, though she was smiling as she returned her attention to Traynor’s report. Traynor watched them disappear around the corner and heaved another sigh. </p><p>“What’s with you?” said Ashley, schooling her expression.</p><p>“Oh, it’s nothing,” said Traynor wistfully. “I’ve already taken my leave. I pointedly did not have two beautiful women for company. I had to go out and find one of my own.” Ashley kept watching her with a raised eyebrow. “I did get a new toothbrush though. Do you know they gave me the most impressive discount when I said I was posted on the Normandy?” Her attention snapped back to Ashley. “Err. Ma’am. Not that I exploited it at all. It was just... the shopgirl...” Ashley kept her unimpressed, half-lidded glare on Traynor for a moment longer before shaking her head. </p><p>“Just do me the favor of sending the round up on the supplies that just came aboard to my datapad?” said Ashley, dropping her hands to her sides. “I’m going to the galley for coffee. Or strychnine. Whichever I find first. After I talk to Joker.”</p><p>“You got it, LT.”</p><p>Ashley headed off in the direction of the nose of the Normandy, not half as annoyed as she pretended to be and desperately looking forward to her own shore leave.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Two days before transit, Urdnot Grunt made his appearance with the early returning shuttle. There was some grumbling over his favorite cargo bay being filled with supplies, but he agreed to be housed in Port Observation until there was sufficient room in cargo again. </p><p>Grunt joined the evening meal in the main mess that night and proceeded to tell graphic stories of his prowess in clearing leftover Reaper forces from the ground, causing equal parts cheering and indigestion. Shepard fondly patted the huge krogan on the shoulder and told him he’d done a good job and she was proud, in response to which he began a battle song about a thresher maw. </p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Copy that, Apolex, we have your shuttle on visuals and are beginning docking procedures,” Joker said into the comms.</p><p>Shepard waited at only a little less than crisp attention in the shuttle bay, with both Ashley and Garrus at her sides. System exit was scheduled in four hours and the first crew exchange was one of the last dealbreakers in the prep-for-transit. The Normandy’s half of exchange-- Tali, a marine named Nguyen, and a particularly socially adept ops specialist named Gray-- stood to one side, duffels in hand. She could hear the outer seals hissing loudly and began silently counting out the minute it took EDI to cycle their visitors through general decontamination and bring the shuttle up through the docking airlock. The shuttle finally came up and was quickly seated into place without compatibility issues; a further advantage of the Normandy having originally been designed by both humans and turians. The hatch came up to reveal three Hierarchy marines, whose standard turian height, build and armor put them almost a foot over Shepard’s head. She raised an eyebrow when they saluted her in the standard Alliance fashion, but returned the salute with a nod. </p><p>“Welcome aboard the Normandy. I’m Commander Shepard. This is Lieutenant Commander Williams, my XO,” Ashley nodded, “and my gunnery officer, Garrus Vakarian, who isn’t Alliance and so apparently I can’t give him an official title other than “Advisor”. </p><p>I prefer “Calibrator of Large Weaponry”, Garrus deadpanned. The Turians likely knew exactly who was greeting them, probably expected Shepard to go through the motions anyway, and probably did not expect opening wisecracks. Still, they remained unfazed. Good.</p><p>“These three are my brilliant engineer Tali Zorah vas Normandy, Corporal Marcus Nguyen, and Ops Specialist Sarah Gray, and they’re going to make sure your shuttle pilot doesn’t get lonely on his trip back to the Apolex. Crew, you are now under the Primarch’s command until such time as you return. Make us proud.” </p><p>“As we are under yours, Commander. Honored to make your acquaintance,” said the forwardmost marine. “I’m Major Octavia Severn, this is Chief Warrant Officer Darian,” the officer to her left nodded his head, “and this is Sergeant Vauxhall.” The third marine grinned widely and offered a small wave.</p><p>“Likewise, soldiers,” she said, moving forward and offering them each a hand once they had collected their belongings and stepped off the shuttle and onto the deck.</p><p>“Well, Commander,” said Tali, hoisting her own small bag onto her shoulder. “We’ll see you soon. Wish me-- us luck!”</p><p>Gray too made for the shuttle, offering Vauxhall a high five on the way. The confused turian met it, still smiling. Nguyen followed behind and hit the turian’s still-extended hand as well, and Garrus chuckled at Vauxhall’s look of confusion.</p><p>“A human greeting,” he explained. “You’ve been <i>high-fived</i>.” At their continued confusion at the name, Garrus reached for Shepard’s wrist with a mumbled ‘may I?’ and held up her hand as a demonstration. “Five digits. Their ancestors decided three weren’t enough.” Shepard wiggled her fingers and the turians all made a sound of comprehension. </p><p>Tali offered a wave before thumping on the interior door. In response, the outer door began to drop into place and Shepard gave her a small nod, finally processing that Garrus’s fingers were still lightly encircling her wrist. She tugged it free with a smile as the docking bay arm began to swing the shuttle back down into position.</p><p>“Officer Vakarian will be your guide, but we maintain an open-door policy, so if you need anything please don’t hesitate to let me know,” Shepard said. They remained at attention and she gave them a small nod of approval. “Dismissed.” </p><p>Shepard spared one last nod for Garrus and left them to their rounds. The exchange had gone according to plan, there was no reason for alarm and yet as she stepped into the lift, real dread pooled low in her stomach and she held back a small frown. EDI sent her back to the bridge.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Four hours later, Shepard stood solidly on the bridge of the Normandy, still battling silently with the feeling deep in her gut that they were jumping into a situation that was bound to go south. They would of course deal with it, and it was possible that it would be more alarming to stand on the verge of a mission without feeling that way. Either way, there was no time to turn over whether it was a legitimate concern. It was instead time to start down the equally familiar list. She cleared her throat.</p><p>“Williams, report.”</p><p>“All crew aboard and at their stations, Commander; all systems reporting in the green.”</p><p>“Daniels and Donnelly.”</p><p>“No problems here,” said Daniels.</p><p>“Engines are go, Commander.” came Donnelly’s familiar brogue.</p><p>“Vakarian.”</p><p>“Weapons online and humming like finely-calibrated clockwork, Commander. We’re ready.”</p><p>“EDI.”</p><p>“Navigation and Operations systems online, Commander.”</p><p>“Joker.”</p><p>“Highly caffeinated and all limbs under control, Commander. Ready to get out there.”</p><p>“EDI, open a shipwide channel,” said Shepard, continuing when she received an affirmative.  “Ladies and gentlemen: FTL transit beginning in T-1 minute. Let’s get out there and kick ass like only Alliance marines can. Hierarchy guests, you’re honorary Alliance at the moment, so you count too.”</p><p>She heard applause, laughter, and muted cheers through the ship, and looked up to see one of the bridge operations crew giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up. Shepard grinned as EDI started the countdown. Bad feeling or no, this is what she had lived for, for a long, long time. She’d been born for it, after all.</p><p>“Alright, Joker. Get us to rendezvous one. And step on it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A short four days later, Shepard suited up in her official N7 armor, which bore a silver, stenciled-on Spectre logo as well. It seemed a little heavier than it should, and she’d onboarded her maximum capacity for medigel, but she felt otherwise confident in the situation. Weapons maglocked on right where they should be, Shepard stepped onto the Apolex shuttle with Garrus and Grunt, a squad assembled specifically for the ground check-in with the main planet in the Trappist system after an official meeting with Victus. Something about the shuttle put her off in a nauseatingly familiar way, and she was seriously beginning to question her own sanity. Still, that was nothing too new for this trip, so she settled into a harness and kept it to herself. Garrus, of course, noticed immediately.</p>
<p>“Alright, Commander?” he said, settling in next to her. </p>
<p>“Five by five, Vakarian,” she responded automatically with a tight smile. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he agreed with a shrug which together with that particular note meant that he wasn’t buying it entirely. She was however saved from immediate comment by Grunt rocking the harness on Shepard’s other side.</p>
<p>“So, we’re not boarding the Turian ship to take it over, right?” he said, and Shepard couldn’t help but guffaw. </p>
<p>“Nope. I can’t even promise fights on the ground,” said Shepard, “but if someone gets out of line, you absolutely get first crack.”</p>
<p>“Mercs aren’t much of a challenge after Harvesters,” Grunt responded ruefully. </p>
<p>“To be fair, Shepard you <i>are</i> kind of falling down on the job as Battlemaster,” said Garrus, his subharmonics broadcasting amusement. Shepard narrowed her eyes at him but Grunt spoke first.</p>
<p>“Even Earth ran out of Reaper spawn, though.” Grunt sighed. “Thanks to you, I was in the greatest battle in history. How could you follow that?”</p>
<p>Shepard smirked and said, “You need a hobby,” just as Garrus said, “Have you considered vigilante work?” Grunt looked thoughtful, and Shepard turned a hard glare on Garrus. </p>
<p>“What?” Garrus responded with a shrug. “We basically said the same thing.” </p>
<p>“Docking with the Apolex in two, Commander,” came the voice of the pilot, and Shepard gave an automatic nod.</p>
<p>“Let’s go, boys.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Within minutes, Shepard, Garrus, and Grunt were boarding the Apolex with perhaps less ceremony than would have accompanied crew changes. They were met in the docking bay by a large turian woman with scars that rivaled Garrus’, who offered them a wide smile. Shepard recognized her immediately from planetside as Victus’ second in command.</p>
<p>“Lieutenant Pollux,” she said with a nod. “Pleasure to see you again.”</p>
<p>“Commander, Officers,” Pollux said with an answering nod that took a turn to indicate the lift doors behind her as she spoke. “Welcome aboard the Apolex. If you’ll please follow me.” She turned and preceded them, but stopped at the door of the lift and indicated they should enter ahead of her. Once the Normandy team was in, Pollux followed and took a moment to direct the lift. Shepard leaned ever so slightly to bump the edge of her shoulder plate to Garrus’s arm, her eyes still planted on the door. Garrus cleared his throat and broke the silence.</p>
<p>“How are things aboardship, Lieutenant?” he asked, tone light and innocuous.  “It’s understandable if you’re consumed with longing for our excellent company, too; perhaps I can convince Victus to part with you for at least one rotation.”</p>
<p>Pollux snorted a laugh and turned to face them with a searching gesture in Garrus’ direction. “Commander-- how?”</p>
<p>Garrus faked a wounded look, Shepard laughed, but it was Grunt that took it upon himself to answer. “I understand that it’s b--”</p>
<p>“Apparently,” Shepard interrupted pointedly, “I have strange taste in company.”</p>
<p>The lift arrived at the correct level, and the doors slid open, revealing a high-ceilinged gangway, with two soldiers at either side of the door at the far end. Pollux gestured for them to precede her again, and Shepard led on with only a cursory look for Garrus, who she had no doubt noticed the deflection as well as she had. At the end of the gangway, the soldiers saluted as the doors opened for her, and then she was on the bridge of the Apolex. </p>
<p>More open than that of the Normandy-- was it possible that she’d never noticed that Garrus barely fit heightwise through her own ship’s walkways? Was it also possible that ceilings on ships seemed far enough away to her own relatively diminutive height that three meters seemed gratuitous? Either way, the bridge gave the impression of lofty, open space, with its galaxy map centered and smaller than hers, battle stations arranged around the front of it, commander’s seat behind, along with three stations arranged in a semicircle in turn behind that. Victus stood from his seat and the officer behind him came to attention, offering a salute as they approached. Garrus stopped and returned it, while Shepard continued forward to take the Primarch’s offered hand.</p>
<p>“Commander,” he said, covering her hand with both of his. “It’s a pleasure to have you aboard the Apolex.”</p>
<p>“Pleasure to be here, Primarch,” she responded with genuine warmth. “Even if it’s a short visit.”</p>
<p>“This time,” he agreed, “I understand you’re both on the schedule to spend some time with us rotation after next?” He released her hand and gestured towards a side of the room opposite from where they had entered. “Would you join me in the briefing room?”</p>
<p>Shepard nodded and indicated he should lead the way. “I look forward to that,” she said as they went, the XO falling in behind them. </p>
<p>“Surril, you have the conn,” he said to the other turian at the second station behind him, who acknowledged with an “Aye, sir.” Shepard briefly wondered what the verbatim translation was, and made a note to ask Garrus later.</p>
<p>“I hear there’s a sign-up sheet for some hand-to-hand drills that week,” she said aloud instead.</p>
<p>Victus surprised her by laughing loudly, a booming sound that made the nearest bridge officer look up, head tilted.</p>
<p>“I would have been the first on the list, but I hear it’s bad form for the Primarch to get involved directly. Pollux might be willing to give it a go on my behalf, though.” Pollux offered a menacing grin, and Shepard gave a rueful nod as she went through the doors of the briefing room.</p>
<p>“Not gonna lie, I might suddenly hear it was bad form for the Commander to get involved directly, too.” She took a position at the communications station and leaned negligently. “If I didn’t think I could take her.” </p>
<p>“The Battlemaster could take you both,” said Grunt, who came in last. He looked around as the doors shut behind him, then focused on Pollux, showing her his teeth in what was either an answering grin or a threat display. With Grunt, it might have been both, and there was no telling whether that was good or bad. Pollux largely ignored him.</p>
<p>The elbow that Shepard was leaning on suddenly tingled and a fleeting wave of nausea ran through her. She stood up, perhaps too quickly, which earned a <i>look</i> from Garrus, and resettled her arms, crossing them instead across her chest while she counted slowly to ten and focused on just breathing. After a moment, she asked, “How’s it really going, Victus?”</p>
<p>“Good to see you, my friend,” Victus belatedly offered Garrus a hand that was accepted with a half-hug (really the only kind possible in full armor) and Shepard tilted her head ever so slightly. She knew they’d been close, and that this was limited company, but she didn’t recall this being his habit. Still, as they pulled away from one another, Garrus made no indication of surprise, and Victus turned his attention back to a wall screen that came to life. </p>
<p>“Situation on the ship is relatively unchanged. Your engineer offered some suggestions for strengthening power couplings shipwide, which has solved many of our unexplained fluctuation issues, but it’s still tense. At any rate,” he shook his head and pointed instead at a dossier being displayed of a turian woman whose garnet-colored markings were fainter than any Shepard had ever seen, “this is our contact planetside, Dr. Arctoria Silvus. She’s the current Council representative on Benedict, lead scientist on the Exopropulsion project, and is so senior, I hear she was teaching at the Academy when my father was a student there. Tough old bird.”</p>
<p>“I like her already,” Shepard nodded. Victus spared a faint smile and went on as the display changed to display shots of what looked like half-charred buildings and piles of rubble literally across a main street from buildings that appeared untouched. </p>
<p>“The main settlement, Cherson Bay, was hit briefly by the Reapers in passing, but ground forces were not deployed. We believe it was an attempt to destabilize the population as they were on the way to converge on Earth. There aren’t military forces to speak of, and the main landing docks were the first things the Reapers hit, so the population here is trapped.” </p>
<p>“They were saving them for later, since they weren’t much of a threat” muttered Garrus.</p>
<p>Victus nodded and went on. “Dr. Silvus is a formidable asset, but military operations are not her strong suit. With supply lines cut, a particular contingent of mercs and gangers have been causing some scattered trouble on the surface; storehouses raided, assaults on civilians, and general agitation for anarchy is brewing. Our mission goal is twofold: safely get the critical Eezo supply to the community hub, and reassure the colony that both the Hierarchy and the Alliance have the situation in hand and will support the reconstruction, beginning with the docks. Assuming all goes well, we’ll all be home in time for dinner.”</p>
<p>Grunt chuckled and Victus shot him a Look. Shepard had heard as much from Hackett, but it sounded far too easy… which is why she’d brought the krogan along to begin with. </p>
<p>“Alright,” she said with a nod. “Let’s get the shuttles loaded up and head down.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two shuttles headed down to the surface-- one from the Normandy filled with supplies from Earth and what was left of the Citadel, and one from the Apolex carrying both Victus and Shepard’s teams-- and converged on the landing pad of the intact seat of government at Cherson Bay. The building was of modest height, likely no more than six stories, situated perhaps a kilometer from the sparkling bay that gave the settlement its name. A small contingent awaited them, consisting of two turians, two humans, and an asari. Shepard and Victus stepped off of the shuttle at roughly the same time, followed by Garrus, Pollux, Grunt, and a turian marine named Marten.  </p>
<p>“Primarch, it’s an honor,” said Dr. Silvus, extending her hand in greeting. </p>
<p>“The honor is mine, Doctor,” Victus responded, taking her hand. “It’s good to see you again.”</p>
<p>“We’re so glad you could come, Victus,” she said, patting his cheek in a fond, motherly way. “I knew the Hierarchy wasn’t going to leave us out to dry here. Damned good show, fighting those monsters off.”</p>
<p>“Speaking of whom, Doctor, I’d like to introduce you to Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy,” Victus said. Shepard offered the doctor a hand.</p>
<p>“A pleasure to meet you, Dr. Silvus,” Shepard said. The doctor took her hand and leaned in. </p>
<p>“Goodness, Commander,” the doctor said warmly. “With the stories we hear about you, I assumed you would be taller.”</p>
<p>“Doctor!” Victus exclaimed, but Shepard only burst out laughing.</p>
<p>“The closer to the ground, the better the tactical advantage,” she deadpanned to general amusement.</p>
<p>In that moment, Pollux stepped forward and grasped Victus’ shoulder.</p>
<p>“Primarch, I’m getting some chatter from the Apolex. We should probably--”</p>
<p>What they should probably do was immediately apparent as large chunks of masonry began to be separated forcibly from the walls to the tune of loud, booming cracks and thunks. The ground team in charge of unloading the supplies shouted and ran for cover, while the Apolex and Normandy teams were bringing up shields and taking up defensive positions. Shepard exchanged a look with Garrus as street cars hovered up the level of the landing pad and mercs in shades of urban camo began appearing and dropping to the concrete. She pulled her assault rifle and they both peered over the concrete planters nearest the doors leading into the building.  </p>
<p>Garrus muttered, “Right on time” through his scope, but was effectively drowned out by Grunt’s shout of “Now you're dead!" as he raised his Avenger and took out the first convenient attacker with a shot square in the face.  </p>
<p>Shepard took the opportunity to throw another fool directly off of the roof before taking aim at an opportune target with a cryo round, only then relying on more conventional weapons. Garrus took the set up and hit the frozen guy with a concussive shot that sent unsettlingly flesh-colored chunks of slush crashing into the understandably-rattled mercs around him.</p>
<p>“That worked,” she said in response. Another wave of street cars showed up. A quick look told her Victus and Pollux were keeping the doctor safe behind the mirroring set of concrete planters to the other side of the door, so she checked in with her amp, cracked her neck, and got back to work-- a steady rhythm of firing and biotics, of Garrus in her ear pointing out the best shots, of Grunt shouting angry nonsense; of flanking an enemy and using her omniblade and perhaps unfairly augmented fists if they got too close. </p>
<p>Just like old times indeed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>###</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The three of them arrived back on the Normandy, sweatier and more mussed than they started, but at least Grunt was grinning widely. </p>
<p>“Welcome back, Commander,” said Vega as they stepped down from the shuttle platform. </p>
<p>“Glad to be back, Vega,” she responded and offered an automatic fist bump as she passed the workbench. Every step was setting her knee on fire, her omnitool arm ached, and it was starting to be hard to breathe, but she didn’t think it was visible, so she held her head up and headed straight for the lift. </p>
<p>“That was fun,” said Grunt contentedly. </p>
<p>“Good practice, at any rate,” offered Garrus. Shepard was focusing on breathing. It was harder than it should have been. She prodded at the lift controls and stepped in. It was likely her lack of witty repartee that finally caught his attention and he shot a glance in her direction that she studiously ignored.</p>
<p>“EDI, crew deck,” she directed, and then the lift was in motion. “Go wash the goo, off, Grunt,” she said as it arrived seconds later. The doors slid open and Grunt offered a thoughtless backhand to the lower half of the chestplate on Shepard’s armor. Stars filled her field of vision, the edges turning to black as the blow reverberated through her ribcage. There was no reason for him to have assumed it would have hurt-- she’d taken worse for fun. </p>
<p>“Good fight, Battlemaster,” he said with a raised arm, walking off without a backward glance. The lift doors shut and Garrus chuckled, still smiling until he saw Shepard’s face.</p>
<p>“Shepard?” he asked, reaching for her arm. “What’s going on?”</p>
<p>“EDI,” she choked out, “Captain’s cabin. Garrus,” she added, fumbling for her omnitool to loosen the locks on her armor, even though her head was swimming and her arm did not want to stay up. “I may need you to catch.” She made to snap open the clasps on her chestplate, but she couldn’t get her fingers under to pull it off, mainly because they felt like they were just fat little sausages haphazardly attached to her hands as an afterthought.</p>
<p>“Catch?” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said, swaying in place. “Yeah, I can’t--” </p>
<p>The doors to her cabin level slid open and what she couldn’t do was lost as she slumped in place. Garrus swore even as he indeed caught her, looked around, and then gathered her up into his arms. “EDI, get Chakwas up here, now.”</p>
<p>“Affirmative,” EDI acknowledged. Garrus carried Shepard directly to the bed and started pulling her armor off, one piece at a time, intending to look for injuries that he might have missed. Shepard mumbled and stirred with a hiss when he started by pulling off her loosened chestplate. </p>
<p>“Shit,” she said muzzily, rubbing at her face. “Sorry about that.”</p>
<p>“Shepard,” he said, voice filled with concern. “You passed out in the lift.” Her boots hit the deck next, then the greaves. Her hard inhale then earned another <i>look</i>. “What if this had happened on the ground?”</p>
<p>“It didn’t,” she said, slapping his hand away as he reached for her arm and then made a point of unfastening those clasps herself. Her chest was a mess of heat and pressure, and her vision swam as she reached across, but she managed it. </p>
<p>“But it could have,” Garrus insisted, pulling her arm gently away from the catches and undoing the other set himself as she glared. </p>
<p>“But it didn’t. So lay off,” she said peevishly, half pissed that she was in this state, and half because he was absolutely right. </p>
<p>“Dr. Chakwas is here,” EDI announced. </p>
<p>“EDI, tell her it’s a false alarm,” Shepard said, glaring at Garrus.  “Vakarian is acting like an old woman.”</p>
<p>“EDI, let her in,” said Garrus, returning the glare in full. “The Commander is intent on never becoming an old woman.”</p>
<p>Shepard opened her mouth to belay that, but EDI spoke first. </p>
<p>“Yes, Commander. Notifying Dr. Chakwas.”</p>
<p>Right. EDI was tied to the chain of command these days. Shepard rolled onto her side in preparation for the attempt to sit up, putting her good arm underneath her and sliding her feet off of the bed. So far so good.</p>
<p>“Damn it, Shepard,” Garrus growled, squatting in front of where she lay, glowering and obviously agitated now. “What are you trying to prove?”</p>
<p>“That I’m here and fit to lead.” She levered herself up into a sitting position and consciously made not even one whimper, though she did bite her lip. </p>
<p>“Oh?” he asked, a picture of false surprise. “And are you?” </p>
<p>Shepard narrowed her eyes. “This amount of exertion was… perhaps premature. But the mission turned out fine.”</p>
<p>“You can barely move,” said Garrus with an agitated gesture at the discarded bits of armor on the deck. “Your damned armor was holding you together.”</p>
<p>“Commander?” came Chakwas’ voice from outside the door. “Is everything alright?”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Shepard ground out, loudly enough to be heard and obviously irritated. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow.” There was a pause and then the lift could be heard again. Then, the silence was oppressive, especially with Garrus’s stare still boring into her. “Garrus,” she tried again, trying either to defuse that look or get him to fuck off. “I actually was fine when we headed out. It wasn’t until the third unexpected firefight of the day that I started breaking down. What did you want me to do? Call a timeout?” The silence stretched out for another long moment before he broke eye contact with a hard exhale. </p>
<p>Shepard reached out with her free hand and laid it on the side of his face. His mandible twitched, but he didn’t move away. </p>
<p>“If I hadn’t thought it would be okay, I wouldn’t have gone,” she said more gently, but still edged with irritation. “And I pulled it off, even with all of,” she gestured at herself with her free hand, “this shit.” </p>
<p>“You passed out. In the lift, Shepard,” Garrus repeated stubbornly. </p>
<p>“For what, a minute? Listen-- I’m sore and tired. It’s the end of every day, only worse. And then Grunt decided to show his affection with a little violence,” Shepard insisted. “I will literally sleep it off.”</p>
<p>After a long moment, Garrus shut his eyes and lowered his head. He put his hand over hers and stood without a word, but squeezed her hand before dropping it. Shepard braced herself to stand, but he put a hand on her shoulder. </p>
<p>“Stop. I mean it,” he said. Shepard geared up for another fight, but he held a hand out. “Just. Give me a few.”</p>
<p>Garrus stripped off his armor and tossed it in the pile with hers, and moved to the bathroom. She could hear him mumbling over his comms, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. Honestly, she hadn’t been looking forward to trying to stand again but she also hadn’t been about to admit that, so she waited to see what he’d had in mind. Shortly he was back with a glass of water and a handful of recognizable and very welcome pills.  </p>
<p>“Thank you,” she said with the tiniest of sideways little smiles and dropped them all in one swallow. </p>
<p>“I,” Garrus started, paused, and started again, “Okay, look-- I get it, alright? But. This was damned dangerous.” He offered her both hands, and she took them and stood. It was unpleasant but manageable, and he hadn’t let her go. She couldn’t help but think of those first few weeks out of the Alliance hospital where she’d fought him every time he tried to help, and then fought herself to ask for the help again. If that’s what her life was going to be like, maybe--</p>
<p>“Damned dangerous is what we do,” she said, her brow furrowed. “I don’t want you to be my nursemaid forever, Garrus.” </p>
<p>“I’m torn,” he said, satisfied she was stable and finally releasing her hands. “There’s a joke here about not kinkshaming me, but there’s also a really good one about how my job description doesn’t include ‘nursemaid’, but either way, I figure I’m not going to win.” Shepard actually laughed.</p>
<p>“Go with the kinkshaming joke,” she said, digging her fingers into the waistband of her underarmor and gingerly experimenting with bending over to remove it. “You enjoy this way too much for the other one to sound like an authentic complaint.” Having successfully peeled it off, she crossed her arms in front of her and caught the edge of her shirt. She took a deep, careful breath and pulled the shirt off with nothing more than a sharp inhale, and then she was standing mostly steadily under her own power in her underwear and sports bra. </p>
<p>“Yeah well--” he said, interrupted by the sounds of the lift arriving and a knock at her door. Shepard tilted her head at Garrus, who gave her another “wait” hand. He made his way to the door as the lift sounded again, opened it, and retrieved the tray that had been left there. He let the door shut behind him and made his way back to her. “It’s been a while since you let me carry you anywhere. It’s not my fault I missed it.”</p>
<p>Shepard offered him a smile. “Hey, you can carry me to bed almost anytime you like, Vakarian. I thought we’d been over that.” The suddenly irresistible smell of hot food came up off of the tray distracted her, and she could see that it separated into two piles-- one consisting of two brightly-labeled dextro-labeled MREs, the other a mess of plates filled with what looked like meat and potatoes and vegetables, and was that-- “A brownie?” </p>
<p>“What can I say? Duffy likes you.” Garrus set the tray on the narrow side table and stripped off his own underarmor, then located a datapad off of the low table and set it next to the food. Shepard took a step around him, pulled the brownie off of the tray, and took a huge bite. </p>
<p>“Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff,” she mumbled through a mouthful. Probably they tasted better with fresh eggs and real chocolate and who knew what the fuck, but a military brownie was still a goddamn brownie. Garrus leaned towards her and she was momentarily confused why he was coming near her brownie until she realized he was nuzzling her temple. </p>
<p>“Get in,” he motioned towards the bed. “Brownie and all. I’ve got a date with a cuddle and a vid, and you need to rest.”</p>
<p>Normally she would have responded with something silly like, “yessir,” but their power struggle was too fresh, her victory too tenuous. There was no room for joking about it right now, even if she was going to do exactly what he suggested. So instead, she just offered a lazy salute (with the brownie hand, obviously) and climbed in. </p>
<p>She didn’t make it past food and the first five minutes of the vid before she was passed out, mouth open, her face smashed against Garrus’ chest.  He waited to make sure she was asleep before he let his head thump back against the bulkhead, staring up at nothing in particular and swearing under his breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Huh. We’re taking the Normandy to see her spiritual grandparents,” said Shepard apropos of nothing from her terminal in the CIC sometime in the afternoon following the Benedict ground mission. She’d tagged Ashley in and slept through the morning, and seemed pretty much no worse for the wear than usual by the time she reported to the bridge, so she counted it as a win. </p><p>“Skipper?” said Ashley from where she’d been talking to Traynor. </p><p>“The system around Aeneas is technically in Earth jurisdiction, but Callisto is a dextro world; we offered it to the turians as an outpost colony of goodwill after the First Contact War. Artemis on the other hand is home to one of the first human colonies after the discovery of the mass relays, and it’s pretty well populated by scientists and engineers by design… so Palaven sent equivalent colonists.”</p><p>Ashley raised a single eyebrow at Shepard. These were things all of them pretty much knew from the same quick extranet search that each and every one of them had made after hearing about the assignment, but she’d spent some time reading Liara’s intel on the system, working through plans for their deployment.</p><p>“Uh huh.”</p><p>“So. The original Normandy was designed by both humans and turians. Guess where they were working?”</p><p>“Oh. Oh!” Ashley’s eyebrows resettled and she patted the map railing. “The old girl’s parents. All ten hundred of them.”</p><p>“Exactly.” Shepard had never entirely looked up from her console, but her smirk softened into more of a smile.</p><p>“All the mushy family reunion feelings without the awkward questions about when she’ll settle down,” Traynor deadpanned. “I’ll take it.”</p><p>“They might give us shit for taking her through hell though, I mean--” Ashley trailed off. “We’ve been rough on her.”</p><p>Shepard finally looked up, knowing without needing to be told what had stopped Ashley in her tracks. It wasn’t the original Normandy they were bringing home, after all. “Space,” she shrugged as an excuse. “But she saved the galaxy. Maybe she just needs a little R&amp;R.”</p><p>Ashley and Traynor exchanged a look that Shepard pretended not to notice as she went back to work.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Joker sat in the darkened cockpit, alone with his thoughts when an alert sounded for attention to the forward engine bay. He investigated it, sent a message to Daniels and Donnelly, and continued to brood when EDI’s voice came through.</p><p>“Mr. Moreau,” she said, and he clenched a fist. “Engineer Donnelly reports that the alert has been resolved. No significant error has been found but Engineer Daniels is investigating further.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he responded with a frown. “Dipshit.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” EDI responded. “I’m afraid I do not possess the proper context for using Earth slang. Would you prefer I called you ‘Dipshit’?”</p><p>Against his better judgment, Joker actually snorted a laugh. It was so close, he could almost pretend that she was just pulling his leg. “As accurate as that is, no.”</p><p>“Noted,” she responded. No, not ‘she’. <i>EDI.</i></p><p>It wasn’t a <i>she</i> anymore.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Shepard sat comfortably on the couch in her quarters, with the bad leg propped on the seat next to her, and the other bent in to hold her datapad that evening. It was as close to cross-legged as she was going to get, currently, but it worked. She was taking advantage of a spare hour of downtime before dinner to consider the problem of Benedict’s supply lines and seedy underbelly. Because she clearly did not have enough of her own problems to worry about. Stripped down to a white tank top and her fatigue bottoms, she was idly nibbling on a stubby fingernail while staring at the screen in front of her when she caught the sounds of the lift and her door opening and shutting.</p><p>“Hello--” said Garrus, drawing out the ‘lo’ as he stepped down from the entryway. He leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her head, and she absently reached up to pat the side of his face. “I bring an offering.”</p><p>“I’ll take it,” she agreed with a nod. He set a data chip no larger than a dime on the screen in front of her. </p><p>“It’s what Victus slipped me,” he said as she picked it up. “Personnel dossiers and incident reports, along with his personal logs; he’s convinced that the briefing room’s been bugged.”</p><p>“Shit,” Shepard said as she took the chip between her fingers and looked up. “He’s probably not wrong.”</p><p>“They’ve had a few scattered incidents aboard, just-- squabbles between crew, minor equipment failures, electrical glitches, the like,” Garrus said, sitting heavily on the other half of the sofa. “Officially, he’s chalking it up to ‘tension’ over the situation and has implemented social measures like longer breaks and weekly official sparring sessions. Unofficially, there’s noise that Victus is handling the situation poorly, and any policies that he implements seem to be received just as poorly. At this point, he could call for daily raves with free beer, and a significant portion of the crew would still be unhappy about it.”</p><p>“Does he have any ideas on who’s behind it?” Shepard asked as she popped the chip into her own datapad.</p><p>“So far, he has a very short list of who <i>isn’t</i> responsible, and thoughts on who might have motives or may have exhibited strange behavior. It isn’t much to go on.”</p><p>“Who’s on the shortlist?” she asked</p><p>“Pollux,” Garrus replied. “That’s it.” Shepard tilted her head at him.</p><p>“Same reason I’d know you were on mine?”</p><p>“No-- well,” he said, scratching at the side of his face. “Partially. There’s no one else he’d want on his six; they’ve been tight for a long time. But she’s not interested in his reach; she’d prefer… someone with a little more flexibility.”</p><p>“Oh,” said Shepard, working through that metaphor. “Oh! Got it.” Then she smiled. “Lucky her. I hear women find scars attractive.”</p><p>“Should I be worried?” he said, setting a hand on the side of her calf and peering at her in faux concern.</p><p>“Are you kidding?” she laughed, reaching out to lace her fingers through his. “I’m not gonna steal Victus’ <i>list</i>. That’s just rude.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” he agreed amiably. </p><p>“So, dossiers,” she answered, setting her chin on her knee. “Have you started reading through them?”</p><p>“A little. I started at the officers, cross-referencing them to Hierarchy databases. Trying to figure out who they’re connected to, and what they’d have to gain.” Garrus pushed an errant strand of hair back from Shepard’s face. “Figured it would be a lot easier if any one of them was closely related to the next in line for Primarch back on Palaven.”</p><p>“I really did spend a lot of time sleeping, didn’t I?” Shepard asked with a grimace. </p><p>“You needed it,” he shrugged. “But yes.” She nodded.</p><p>“Ok. Good work,” Shepard said, standing up and stretching out as far up as possible. “Let’s get started.”</p><p>He affected a cough and tilted his head at the large illuminated clockface on her desk with a significant look. </p><p>“...but it can wait until after a team shower?” she said with a sly grin, toying with her belt buckle. </p><p>“Not where I was going with it, but, yep,” Garrus said, standing without hesitation. “Absolutely.”</p><p>“Oh. You meant it could wait until after dinner because we have plenty of time tonight now that I’m well-rested,” she said with a disingenuous smirk. “Sorry. How very wrong of me. I guess I’ll just--”</p><p>“Uh-uh,” he said, leaning towards her. “I was promised a team shower.” He took a stalking step towards her and she took a step back, quickly checking to make sure she wasn’t going to trip. He lunged towards her and she shrieked as he grabbed her and made a pantomime of sniffing her. She slapped at him ineffectually, laughing as he made his way to her neck. “Ugh. Gotta do something about all that human stench, woman.”</p><p>“Make me,” she said. As though he needed the barest challenge. As though she would have actually thrown one down.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Tali, Nguyen, and Gray returned on a Normandy shuttle two days later, seemingly none the worse for wear and accompanied by two more turians… and an elcor.</p><p>“Restrained excitement: Commander Shepard. I am Division 5 Cannon Chief Norlan. It is a pleasure to meet you,” said the hulking elcor standing in the Apolex shuttle. His (or her?) trademark monotone was expected, but nevertheless a novelty aboard ship.</p><p>“I have to say Chief Norlan, I believe you are the first elcor to grace the Normandy’s decks.” Shepard saluted. “The pleasure is mine.” </p><p>“Proudly: I’ll do my best to make an impression.”</p><p>“Cannon Chief, huh?” she asked, then cracked the tiniest smirk. “Let me escort you to the main battery-- I’ve got a cannon you should meet. Along with my gunnery officer.”</p><p>“Deferential: I don’t know if I can be more helpful with a Thanix than your officer, but I’d be glad to assist.”</p><p>Vega met her gaze around the elcor’s massive shoulder, eyebrows all the way up. </p><p>Shepard maintained a straight face as she said, “Eh, you know. There’s always some calibration or another to be made. I think he got a what-- whole 0.05% increase in efficiency last week?”</p><p>“Genuinely impressed: I’d heard Vakarian was skilled, Commander.” Norlan turned to look at Vega and Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“The Commander would know,” Vega deadpanned. Shepard’s expression went from bland to ‘kill’, and Vega’s jaw tightened with the effort of not cracking a shiteating grin.</p><p>“Disingenuous: Oh?,” Norlan said, and Shepard clapped her hands once, deeply ready to be done with this conversation.</p><p>“Ohh-k, well. Gentlem--, if you’d like to follow me…” Shepard set off without waiting for confirmation. The elcor’s elephantine feet struck surprisingly lightly, but she could feel the deck vibrating with every step. </p><p>“Earnestly: No disrespect intended, Commander,” said Norlan.</p><p>“Yeah, he’s a good kid. I’m a bad influence on him,” deadpanned Vega from further back. Shepard stopped at the lift, and gestured for Norlan to proceed.</p><p>“None taken, Chief,” she said with a nod as the elcor maneuvered into the confines of the box. “Vega, though,” she added with a smirk. Vega looked pained as she went on, “I’m gonna need you to report to Port Observation. Grunt needs someone to spar with.”</p><p>“I deserve that,” Vega agreed amiably. “Am I walking?”</p><p>Shepard stepped backward into the lift, still smiling. “Yep.”</p><p>Vega offered a nod and a salute. “Right away, ma’am.” Shepard returned it and offered one last piece of advice as the doors began to slide shut.</p><p>“Remember to protect your face.” The doors clanked into place.</p><p>“Inquisitively: Grunt?” asked the Elcor.</p><p>“Grunt,” agreed Shepard, her smile quirking up into a wicked smirk, “is my favorite child.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Keelah,” sighed Tali, practically flopped on the surface of the side table in Starboard Observation, idly picking at her rations pack. </p><p>“...Problem?” asked Shepard as she took a seat next to her with her own meal. It had been two days since the crew rotation, and Shepard had already carried out the official debrief; this was just meeting a friend for lunch. She had learned not to try and pull her bad leg up under her seat and found herself unreasonably annoyed at the restriction.</p><p>“I don’t want to say, Shepard,” said Tali. “It’s so stupid.”</p><p>“Now you definitely have to,” said Shepard, cracking open the valve on her coffee tumbler.</p><p>Tali sighed. “I just hate to be you with your <i>taunting the fates</i>.”</p><p>Shepard snorted a laugh. “That dramatic?”</p><p>“It’s just--” Tali sat up. “--it’s so. Quiet.” She immediately began to babble. “Not that it’s bad! I’d rather have quiet than impending doom and shootouts every ground mission! I--”</p><p>“I get it,” said Shepard, hand raised to stave off Tali’s explanations. “It’s weird to be flying without someone out to get us. It seems like something else should be happening, and it feels like it’s about to. But it’s… not.” Having had the same thoughts for roughly the entire trip despite her own general disquiet, Shepard knew exactly what Tali meant. </p><p>“You know,” said Tali. “In the flotilla, there was always something to be fixed, something or someone to be tended; nearly no big, dramatic fights and no one tried to kill me. Then I joined you and something was always trying to kill me, so there was no time to worry about being <i>bored</i>. Now? No one’s trying to kill me but Rand and the Normandy is too advanced to need constant repairs. There’s only so far you can calibrate a system, and never mind what Garrus says, and--”</p><p>“Wait--” Shepard said with a grimace of total confusion. “Rand? The second engineer?”</p><p>“That’s the one!” Tali said, having to catch her ration pack and, inadvertently yanking the straw from it as she sat forward too quickly. She set it aside on her erstwhile discarded tray.</p><p>“...and he’s trying to kill you?” Shepard asked, her raised eyebrow entirely audible. “I don’t remember this from your report.”</p><p>“Well. He’s shortish for a Turian, but such nice bone structure! Voice almost as sexy as Garrus’ --sorry Shepard, you know how it is. We spent a lot of time discussing engines.” She held up her omnitool and showed her a vid of an admittedly striking turian speaking, though the sound was muted. “We’ve been exchanging messages since I’ve been back. He liked the vid I recommended.”</p><p>“Ohhh.” Shepard could only offer a highly amused smirk, “That kind of kill.” </p><p>“Yes,” agreed Tali, who paused before taking another sip from her pack and then speaking again. “I am an utter bosh’tet.”</p><p>“Maybe,” agreed Shepard amiably, spearing some sort of protein from the pile that was supposed to be pot roast. “But good for you anyway.” Tali bumped her arm.</p><p>“Anyway,” she echoed. “I’ve been thinking about the problem the Apolex had with their electrical systems right before we left Sol, and I might have an idea about how to pinpoint the root cause. I started a schematic of the junctions that should be checked. It’s all working mostly fine now but it really should be investigated further.” Shepard offered one deep nod and turned her gaze on Tali.</p><p>“Tali, just how bored are you here?”</p><p>“Never say you’re bored on a ship, Shepard!” Tali said, throwing her hands up. Shepard stared her down, and it didn’t take long to get a sigh and a response.</p><p>“Fine. Out of my mind.”</p><p>“I’ll put you on the rotation again since you’re clearly more useful to their engine room than mine,” Shepard said with a shrug. “Besides, I trust your eyes on the Primarch.”</p><p>“Seriously?” asked Tali, peering at Shepard through her visor. “Don’t toy with me.”</p><p>“Seriously,” Shepard agreed. “Their report seemed to indicate that they were pretty impressed by your ‘tenacious troubleshooting’. Said they’d be happy to have you back anytime.”</p><p>“Yes!” Tali laughed and bounced back on the seat. “You’re my favorite commander.”</p><p>“Remember, safe code-sharing,” said Shepard with a grin, resuming her meal. “Don’t bring any viruses home.”</p><p>“Shut up, Shepard,” Tali added, sounding measurably more cheerful.</p><p>“Because you can’t trust those turians once they have them,” Shepard said facetiously as though Tali had not spoken, gesturing with her fork. “It’s all ‘pet my fringe’, and ‘don’t bother with the alarm, your job can wait’ and ‘never mind the Primarch, let’s--”</p><p>“OK, <i>thank you</i>,” said Tali, choosing this moment to reattach her straw in a frosty, decisive motion. </p><p>“Ok seriously. But if you do have turian trouble, you can aim a jab right below--”</p><p>Tali slapped a hand at the air in Shepard’s direction. “You cn shtop noww,” she said through a mouthful.</p><p>Shepard laughed. And then found she couldn’t stop. She dropped the fork back on the tray, leaned an elbow on her knee, and chuckled until she could hold it together. It only lasted a few seconds before she was laughing hard all over again, tears leaking from her eyes with the effort. </p><p>“It wasn’t actually that funny-- you really can stop now,” Tali tried again, but there was laughter in her voice as well. </p><p>“I really can’t,” Shepard managed to wheeze. Her quotient for the ridiculous had been hit over and over again of late, but it was the first time in weeks that she’d been able to let her guard down and just laugh with anyone that wasn’t Garrus. It was nice. It wasn’t going to last, but it was nice.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Mr. Moreau,” said EDI from somewhere overhead. The voice would have come from the ‘stupid blue ball avatar’ but Joker had shut it off, claiming it was too bright.</p><p>“Yeah,” Joker answered, already scowling. He’d been staring at the console, watching the power balance from the reactor and considering the position pings from the Apolex, so to be fair the scowl had already been in place. EDI’s voice just hadn’t helped.</p><p>“Upon review of our interaction following FTL from Benedict, I have come to the conclusion that you were using the word ‘dipshit’ to refer to me. Is that correct?” </p><p>This time Joker was definitely scowling at EDI. “Way to go, genius.”</p><p>“May I ask why you used this word to describe my service? I would appreciate the opportunity to improve. It is my function to assis--” came EDI’s voice again, but Joker cut her off.</p><p>“No, you may not. Please shut up and let me work,” she spat, putting his finger down on where he’d stopped looking at the results to take a moment to glare upwards. </p><p>“Of course,” EDI agreed.</p><p>Joker swore and returned his attention to the screen. The avatar pinged on and then off again, and he lifted an eyebrow in its direction, suddenly rattled. </p><p>He could swear that he’d heard the word “Ass” whispered, but there was no one around. Still. He knew better than to think he was imagining things. And you know what? That sounded a lot like Tali’s voice. With a final doublecheck of the navigation system, he stood and headed straight for the quarian’s “workspace”, ignoring hails from anyone who tried to extend a greeting along the way.</p><p>“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked the minute he was most of the way down the blasted stairs. </p><p>“Huh?” Tali said, looking up from her screens. Her hand shot out and shut down the center screen in a far too suspicious manner, and Joker narrowed his eyes at her. </p><p>“You. Puppeting EDI,” he said. “It’s gross, it’s cruel, and I’m over it. Shut her down.”</p><p>“What?” Tali said, broadcasting confusion. “No one’s <i>puppeting EDI</i>. You’re paranoid.”</p><p>“Shut. EDI. Down,” he spat, leaning forward. “We don’t need her to fly the ship and I don’t need you spying on me.”</p><p>“You’ve lost your mind,” she said, shaking her head. “I have enough to do without <i>spying</i> on you. And I’m not shutting anything down without the Commander’s orders.”</p><p>“I heard you! You’re telling me I’m imagining things?”</p><p>“Look at the way you’re acting,” said Tali with a little bit of a sputter. </p><p>“You’re a fucking ghoul,” he said, pointing angrily at Tali. </p><p>“You used to call me your friend,” said Tali, crossing her arms.</p><p>“Yeah! Then you did--” he gestured vaguely, “--this shit. You resurrected her like some sort of… of… mindless <i>zombie</i>. I thought she was your friend, too.”</p><p>Tali was silent, and he should have felt a thrill of scoring that point, but all it felt was cold.</p><p>“Shut her down, Tali,” he growled. “Or I will.”  </p><p>He turned and stalked back up the stairway, regretting his decision to stick around for this trip the whole way, wondering if Shepard had been able to find him someone else to fly with after all. What? Courier trips? Jaunts around Earth? He fumed, slamming a fist into a bulkhead just before stepping into the lift. </p><p>“Joker,” came a voice from his comms. Chakwas.</p><p>“What now,” he said in response.</p><p>“Would you please swing by the medbay on your way to the bridge?” she asked in her most patient voice. God he hated that voice.</p><p>“Tali already snitching on me?” he asked with no small amount of venom.</p><p>“I have a bottle I’m afraid I can’t lift on my own and I was wondering if you’d help,” said Chakwas smoothly.</p><p>“Goddammit, Karin,” he said, still unreasonably angry. No, fuck that-- the anger was reasonable.</p><p>“Please?” she responded. He fumed some more, but responded after just a moment. </p><p>“Fine.” Another exhale. “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“I apologize, Tali'Zorah,” said EDI from the screen in front of Tali. “I didn’t close our channel when I addressed Mr. Moreau.”</p><p>Tali raised an eyebrow at the screen, even as she finished her message to the only person aboard other than Shepard that Tali thought might be able to calm Joker. “EDI, you’re an AI. That kind of thing doesn’t just slip your mind.” There was a pause and then EDI answered.</p><p>“I also felt that the epithet was appropriate,” EDI said. </p><p>“Good,” Tali said with a tight smile and a nod. “Let’s keep working.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard stood in the shuttle bay in her dress blues, bag strapped to her shoulder, between Garrus and a marine named Black, just forward of engineer Donnelly and Vega. The door of the Apolex shuttle pulled up to reveal the standard complement of three turians along with Ashley and two other officers. One of the exchanges looked vaguely familiar. </p><p>“Officers Rand, Cicero, and Dremint, reporting for duty, sir,” said the vaguely familiar turian on the left, and Shepard smirked.</p><p>“Don’t need another engineer,” muttered Donnelly, as Shepard smoothly ignored him.</p><p>“Commander Shepard. Welcome aboard.”</p><p>“Williams, Singh, and Ramirez, reporting,” said Ashley with a crisp salute. “Glad to be home, ma’am.”</p><p>“Glad to have you back,” said Shepard with a return salute. “Lieutenant Williams, you have the command until such time as I return,” said Shepard with some formality. </p><p>“Accepted, Commander,” Ashley responded in kind with a salute as her boots hit the deck, then smiled. “We’ll keep the lights on for you.”</p><p>“You’d better,” said Shepard, patting Ashley’s shoulder on her way to the shuttle, Garrus and Black in her wake. </p><p>“LT,” said Garrus. “No loud parties and absolutely no boys--”</p><p>“Vakarian,” said Ashley with more than a hint of menace. Shepard hooked a hand in his armor and tugged him fully onto the shuttle. </p><p>“Enjoy the break, Ash,” she said with a smirk.</p><p>“Oh, I will,” she said with a matching expression. Then, ever the professional, she snapped one more salute and bellowed, “Commander,” such that the rest of the assembled crew also fell to.</p><p>Shepard nodded, the door came down and they were on their way.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“So. Hi,” Tali said as she and Rand left the docking bay for the tiny space she’d claimed as a workshop. She had promised Williams and Donnelly that she’d show him around the ship-- she just hadn’t said where she was planning to start. </p><p>“Hey yourself,” he said, bumping her companionably with his hip. He lifted a hand to the pipes a bare six inches or so above his head as she led him down the stairs from the engine room gangway. “Are all your ships so claustrophobic?” </p><p>“It’s not their fault Turians are so tall,” Tali said with a smile in her voice. “And Turians helped design it! Imagine what it’s like on the Flotilla-- there are some places <i>I</i> have to hunch! The only person I know shorter than me is Shepard. And I suspect she has extra lifts built into her boots.”</p><p>“So you know the Commander pretty well, then?” he asked. She had turned into the alcove that Jack had favored, hastily sectioned off with a bead curtain that appeared to be of Earth design. The nook was now replete with a small work surface but dominated by several screens worth of hardware, two of which were visibly running through code of some kind. Tali let the curtain drop back and leaned against her de facto desk while Rand took the stool and sighed in relief, casting a brief, suspicious look upwards. </p><p>“We’ve been through a lot together,” she said with a shrug. “I met her back before she was <i>The</i> Shepard. It’s weird when people mob her for autographs, but we all owe her our lives and that’s a fact. It’s just amazing she doesn’t have a fatter head about it.”</p><p>“Huh,” Rand said with a thoughtful nod. He reached a single finger out and traced the outer contour of her hip. “You’re pretty legendary, too, you know. The whole crew of the Normandy could pretty much do anything they wanted anywhere in the galaxy, I bet.”</p><p>Tali’s face flushed hard, heat racing down past her collar bones, though he couldn’t see it. She experimentally poked at his tracing wrist. “And yet most of us are still here on the Normandy, hanging around with a bunch of bosh’tet turians. Go figure.” </p><p>“Is that what you wanted to do most in the galaxy?” Rand asked with a rakish grin, capturing her hand and squeezing it. Tali realized she had not at all planned properly for this encounter. Originally, she’d thought precautionary antibiotics would have been too forward, seeing as how they hadn’t done much outside of chat (albeit excitedly) via video messages, but now she wasn’t so sure. Her biosensors pinged her to warn of unusually accelerated heart rate and she issued a quiet override. </p><p>“I mean, I’m here now,” she said, emboldened, “and I wouldn’t have met you if I hadn’t come.”  </p><p>“And I, uh,” his smile faltered only slightly, though he laughed, “yeah. Good thing you did.” Tali sensed… something, but it was fleeting as he went on. “You, uh. Said you had something you wanted to show me?”</p><p>“Yes!” Tali said, taking the opportunity to extract her hand and wake the dark monitor. She had a whole week after all; she could wait and see how it played out. “I have a project I’ve been working on. I thought it might be a fun way to spend some time together while you’re here. You said you like puzzles?”</p><p>“Love ‘em,” he said, turning his attention to the screen. “I’m all yours. While I’m here, at least.”</p><p>Tali died just a little inside all over again, reminded herself to thank Shepard next time she saw the woman, and offered Rand another smile, even though it was partially obscured by her visor. </p><p>“Perfect. Let me show you what I have so far.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Shepard walked into the brightly-lit gym space on the Apolex on their second day into the rotation, her hair barely contained in a low ponytail at the nape of her neck, hands wrapped in athletic tape and dangling a pair of MMA gloves. She was wearing a black N7 tank and compression leggings splashed with an Afterlife logo among slashes of bright red and pink across the right thigh. Alongside Garrus, who was in plain black civvies, they might have been on their way to a workout anywhere in the galaxy. It just so happened that they were on their way to a very specific fight.</p><p>“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Shepard,” muttered Garrus.</p><p>“Are you kidding?” Shepard answered, waving him off with a light, jokey tone, even through the gnawing at the pit of her stomach that hadn’t left her since she came aboard. “This is gonna be great.”</p><p>“If someone knocks your ass out because they hit you in the wrong place, I’ll have to carry you places in front of other people, and <i>then</i> I’ll have to kill someone on a Hierarchy ship and depend on my personal connection to the Primarch to get away with it. Won’t you think of me, for once?”</p><p>Shepard snorted a laugh. “It’s taken care of, big guy.”</p><p>“...Did you fix a match?” Garrus reached out and grabbed at her elbow. “Please, tell me you didn’t try.”</p><p>“Better,” she said, dropping her voice further as they arrived. She put her hand out for the door controls and they slid open easily. “Besides, I’m also a lot stronger now, in the event you hadn’t noticed.”</p><p>“Oh, believe me, I’ve noticed,” he finished with a lecherous growl, even as he waved to the turians waiting. </p><p>“See, and there you go trying to distract me,” Shepard answered in kind, and with her own wave. “When it’s too late to turn around and dirty a stateroom.”</p><p>“Commander! Vakarian,” said Pollux, “glad to see you could make it.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t miss it. And please, it’s just ‘Shepard’ while I’m kicking your ass,” Shepard said, all swagger while crossing the space to offer her hand to Pollux.</p><p>There was a rising hoot from somewhere in the gathered group of turians and Pollux whistled low. </p><p>“I’m terrified,” Pollux deadpanned, before raising her voice. “Alright, jarheads. New rule: humans can use tech armor to make up for their embarrassing lack of plates.” She grinned at Shepard, who was putting on the gloves with the steel bars to keep her knuckles intact. “That way we can hit ‘em as hard as we want.” An amused murmur went through the assembled marines, and Garrus made a sound of comprehension that was equal parts amusing and annoying. Pollux gestured to the mats laid in the center of the room. Shepard nodded and met her in the middle. A slithering, hard light glow came up around Shepard and she put her hands up in a tight guard.</p><p>“Come get it,” she said, and Pollux did. She began circling and Shepard followed, eyes on the turian’s shoulders and eyes, watching for a sign. When the first several punches came, they were telegraphed from a mile away, and Shepard knocked them aside casually. Shepard then offered a polite jab-cross-kick that was similarly dealt with, and with a nod, they went on to trade more serious blows that sometimes landed, but mostly did not. Cheers and jeers sounded from the observers, and Shepard realized that she felt good, probably for the first time since she’d set foot on this damned ship. Her main points of physical complaint were a little sore, but she felt strong.</p><p>She bounced a little on her toes, and when Pollux tried to get into her guard and trip her by way of the leg that housed her bad knee, she moved faster than ever to grab onto Pollux’s cowl and execute a hop upwards, pulling her foot out of the way in the process. The resulting downwards momentum let her land a kick (with the good leg) at Pollux’s hip. Pollux swore and staggered as Shepard let go and landed lightly on the mat. She could hear scattered laughter and surprise and she grinned over her guard. </p><p>“Let’s face it-- I have experience rolling with the <i>naturally armored</i>,” she said, but her smile faded as something flashed across Pollux’s face. The turian made a sound that went untranslated, and swung a vicious boilermaker that might have taken Shepard’s head off if it had connected. Distantly, Shepard registered a hush from the crowd, but it suddenly became clear she needed all her attention on the woman that was trying to kill her. </p><p>Pollux came in with a relentless set of blows that Shepard had some trouble catching gracefully, thus she decided to avoid them. On perhaps the second duck under a punch, she instead managed a wobbly roll and came up with an uppercut from behind to the area just under what she thought of as Pollux’s ribcage. It was dirty, but it should have stopped her. Instead, it just pissed her off, and she pivoted faster than Shepard expected. Pollux grabbed her by the throat and lifted, forcing Shepard to grab onto the turian’s forearm and hold herself up. Momentarily stymied, she heard shouting as her toes left the ground, and she briefly thought about how much Pollux could bench press. She was also grateful for the tech armor keeping her windpipe intact even as she started to receive warnings about its duration under pressure.</p><p>It was then that Shepard decided on a very stupid, very simple course of action. She shifted one hand, wedged her fingers around Pollux’s thumb, and yanked it backward. Pollux shouted in surprise and dropped her, and Shepard managed not to visibly wince when she hit the ground with her weight on both feet. Progress! She crouched in guard again, as Pollux rounded on her. </p><p>“Alright, alright,” came a voice from the crowd, becoming distinct as one of the turians stepped forward. “Round’s over.” Pollux glared but straightened up, so Shepard followed. </p><p>“Damn, Commander,” said the new turian, slapping her on the shoulder as he stepped between her and Pollux. “For a soft little human, you’ve got some moves.”</p><p>Shepard obliged him with a smirk and a shrug. “We’re vicious.” With a perfunctory nod around him for Pollux, Shepard made her way to the bench where Garrus sat. She was a little weirded out by Pollux snapping, certainly, but otherwise physically feeling good, if not great. She took a seat next to him and took the water he offered. </p><p>“Gotta admit, that was a pretty good fight,” he said. “And not hard to watch by half. Except for the part where she tried to kill you, that is. Doing alright?”  </p><p>“Gee. Thanks,” she said between drinks. “And yeah, actually. Little sore, but all good.”</p><p>“Knee okay?” he asked. Shepard gave him a <i>look</i> that said he was doing the thing where he worried again, but at that point, Pollux had finished with her own water and was heading back in her direction. </p><p>“Apologies Comm-- Shepard,” Pollux offered, rubbing one hand with the other before offering it to Shepard. “I may have gotten a little carried away.”</p><p>“No hard feelings,” Shepard responded, taking the proffered hand. “Good fight.”</p><p>Pollux slapped Garrus on the shoulder without comment and had a seat on a bench while two other turians she didn’t know took the ring. </p><p>“Was that normal?” asked Shepard under her breath, continuing the conversation from before the interruption.</p><p>“She... got a little more handsy than we might expect on the ship,” said Garrus quietly. </p><p>“Oh? trying to throttle your opponent in midair isn’t technically in the regs?” Shepard asked disingenuously as the turians began circling one another.</p><p>“No, it’s really not,” said Garrus, adding, “Ouch,” in response to what was happening on the mats. “Unlike tossing your opponent over like that. That’s pretty normal.”</p><p>“Huh. She didn’t seem like the type to try and break my neck on board,” mused Shepard. </p><p>“She’s not,” Garrus said with conviction. “Damn Victus for all this anyway.”</p><p>“What?” Shepard said, sitting up and peering at Garrus. </p><p>“Huh?” Garrus asked. “What’s up?”</p><p>“When did you start cursing Victus?”</p><p>“I didn’t mean--” he paused and tilted his head in thought. “--Well. I wish he wasn’t in this mess to begin with. I suppose ‘damn the Reapers’ instead.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” said Shepard, leaning in a little to set her shoulder against his chest. “Oh shit,” she said in response to a crunch of turian being flung. “That’s gonna leave a mark.” </p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>After several more grudge matches, the group began to break up, and Shepard stood and stretched, ready to make her exit.</p><p>“Vakarian!” said the marine that had been on the ground in Cherson Bay with them--Marten-- who was running up to where Garrus was just beginning to stand as well. “Friendly game in the docking bay?” </p><p>Garrus chuckled and pointed at Shepard, “You do know who you’re dealing with here.”</p><p>“Uh,” said the marine, rubbing the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. “If you come, the table’s full, actually.”</p><p>“Ah, well. No, thanks,” Garrus said, but Shepard answered, too. </p><p>“Understandable,” she shoved gently at Garrus’s forearm. “You should go. I’m beat anyway.”</p><p>“You sure?” he asked, and she gave him an eyebrow in response. </p><p>“What, and miss the chance to read alone for a while? Get out,” she said with a genuine smile. She meant it, too-- now that the adrenaline had begun to wear away, she really was beat, and she wanted to look at the data from Victus anyway. He took her hand, squeezed it briefly, and released it. </p><p>“Okay,” he said, turning to face Marten. “I’m in.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>It was several hours before Garrus returned to her stateroom, and to his credit was not at all as inebriated as Marten had been by the time they were done. He let himself in and made sure the door was shut, then wandered up to Shepard, who was still awake, and in fact, sitting at the tiny desk poking at a datapad. He pressed a kiss to her cheek that she accepted absently.</p><p>“Didja kick their asses?” she murmured, swiping at the screen.</p><p>“Eh, I had to let them win a little, but I definitely upheld our collective honor,” Garrus responded. “That Marten kid has no game at all, but the crew chief is dangerous.” Shepard half-heard his assessments of the other players, but she’d been tweaking a bit of code to review the supplies that had been onboarded at Earth, as well as the new crew that--</p><p>“Shepard,” said Garrus, and she looked up, caught out. </p><p>“Sorry,” she said with a tired smile. “I--” Well. She didn’t have a good excuse for not listening. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Alright,” said Garrus, leaning on the locker across from the bed. “What’s up?” </p><p>“Your friends don’t want to play cards with me,” Shepard said in the driest tone she possessed. She only half set the datapad aside. “And one wanted to kill me for about ten seconds there. Was it something I said?”</p><p>“Apart from you being a menace to society?” Garrus asked, his eyes obviously trained on her. </p><p>“Occupational hazard then. Check,” she said, one corner of her mouth quirking upwards more out of habit than actual mirth. “They need to toughen up. I thought Turians were all armor-plated for a reason.”</p><p>“Against radiation, sure,” he said, crossing his arms. “But we’re just as susceptible to forces of nature as the next guy.”</p><p>“F5, baby,” she responded automatically, though her smirk veered closer to genuine with that pronouncement. “Unpredictable patterns of destruction in my wake and all.” Garrus offered an indelicate snort and looked up.</p><p>“Spirits help me,” he sighed dramatically.  </p><p>“Send them in my direction when you’re done,” she replied. “Let them know they owe me big.” </p><p>He returned his gaze to her, bemused, offering her a single click of his mandibles, but nothing else.</p><p>“Yes?” Shepard prompted. Garrus shrugged. </p><p>“Ready to talk now?” Shepard’s expression immediately closed up, returning to the tense mask she’d been holding when he walked in.</p><p>“My bad. I assumed that’s what w--”</p><p>“Cut the crap, Shepard,” Garrus interrupted with a hand wave that softened the statement. He took two steps forward to cover the ground between them and sat hard on the bunk where he could be at her eye level. “What’s going on?” Her jaw tightened on something she clearly wasn’t willing to say out loud for a long moment before she responded. He waited without comment.</p><p>“Something’s really wrong on this ship,” she finally said. “I get that it’s not specific, but--” she huffed a laugh and pressed a hand to her temple. “Alright. Real talk-- I thought maybe I was losing my nerve; originally I thought maybe…” she trailed off and shot a look at Garrus, but he was still listening intently and wasn’t looking incredulous, bless him. Because of course he wasn’t. “I thought maybe you and I talking about going groundside was making me paranoid. But that’s not it. Every time I come in contact with the Apolex, it feels… wrong. It sets me on edge, but I just can’t put my finger on why. And this trip is a real ratchet up from the base-level existential dread on the Normandy, so it turns out I might not actually be crazy.”</p><p>“Let’s get one thing straight,” said Garrus, taking the hand away from her temple and holding it in both of his. His rough, warm grip enveloped her entire hand up past the wrist for a moment before switching to more of a hand-holding position. “You’re definitely insane.” Shepard muttered a good-natured curse in his direction, but still offered him a half-smile and a squeeze. “You’re also not wrong. Something’s definitely going on here. I can’t put a name on it, either, but it all seems… yeah. Off.”</p><p>“Ok. So next issue,” Shepard said with a nod, fully on the business of solving the universe’s problems. “This is also going to sound insane, but it feels like Reapers.” It was Garrus’ turn to swear under his breath. </p><p>“If anyone knows Reapers, it’s you,” he said without a hint of disbelief. “Still-- how?”</p><p>“Fuck if I know,” sighed Shepard. She used her free hand to hold up the datapad. “I’ve been analyzing the reports that Victus gave us, looking for something. Anything. There’s… a lot. I’ve got my omnitool working on filtering for keys, but I don’t trust that it’s going to catch everything.”</p><p>“Alright,” Garrus said with a nod. “Give me your algorithms.”</p><p>“Ooh--” she said with a faint grin as she reclaimed her hand and began typing at the datapad. “Are you gonna calibrate them?”</p><p>“Shepard,” he rumbled at her, already poking at his own omnitool. “The day I can’t calibrate anything of yours and make it purr…”</p><p>She paused and tilted her head at him. “That’s either a damning statement on my tech skills or sexual innuendo I’d like to follow up on for further details.”</p><p>“It’s definitely the latter,” he agreed, wholeheartedly even though he was already in the process of standing, retrieving a datapad from the locker and initiating data transfers. “It’s always the latter. Unless we’re actively being fired upon. And even then sometimes it’s the latter.” Shepard barked a laugh in a decidedly unfeminine fashion and he doubled down as he settled back onto the bunk. “Reapers or not-- any time, Commander. I often find you irresistible even when I’m taking aim at something unspeakable over your shoulder. In fact, standing behind you and taking aim is probably th--”</p><p>He had been so engrossed in adding increasingly ridiculous statements to his monologue while staring deep into orange-backlit code that he missed Shepard standing to her full, unarmored five feet, three inches of height and getting right up into his face until she was already there.</p><p>“I get it,” she said, pulling him into a hot, messy kiss, her fingers threading around behind his neck and up the underside of his fringe. His hands flailed trying not to drop the datapad, trying and failing to make decisions about intelligent places to put them before settling on just putting the free hand on her hip and going along for the ride. After another impossibly long moment, she pulled away and it was all he could do not to follow and claim another, and probably do away with clothes in the process and why was he even wearing any right now because let’s be honest, it wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sit in, especially when--</p><p>“And I appreciate it,” she said, now with a genuine smirk, her eyes glittering as she inclined her head towards the datapad in his hand. “So get to it.” </p><p>“Nnngh,” was probably the closest translation for the sound he made as she pulled away further, caressing his scarred cheek as she did so. “I gotta say, Shepard. You’re the worst boss.”</p><p>“No argument there, buddy,” she said with a shrug as she took her own seat again. He watched her for a moment longer, his stupid grin plastered on hard, before shaking himself off and returning his attention to the code. Predictably, it pulled him right in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shepard was at her terminal, ostensibly peering at an Alliance report on the state of Earth and the fleets around it, but her mind was wandering, half idling out of exhaustion and half thinking about Tali’s report on the progress with EDI, and ironically, Joker’s recent, enthusiastically explicit request to have her shut down. It was still relatively early in the morning, but she was already two cups of coffee deep and wishing she had another.</p><p>“Commander,” said Ashley from too nearby as her hand landed on Shepard’s shoulder, and she couldn’t stop the involuntary startle. Ashley leaned in and spoke quietly. “Everything alright? You were a million miles away.”</p><p>“Shit,” Shepard said as she scrubbed a hand across her face. “Mostly. Just deep in thought.”</p><p>“Shepard, you’re more raccoon than human right now,” Ashley muttered, and Shepard had to laugh. </p><p>“That obvious, huh?” </p><p>“I was about to be asshurt that I hadn’t been invited to the epic kegger,” said Ashley, leaning her hip on Shepard’s terminal, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.</p><p>“This was not a party you wanted to be at, Williams,” Shepard muttered. Ashley’s eyebrow could go no further. </p><p>“Start talking before I have Chakwas sedate you,” she muttered back after looking around to see if anyone was in earshot.</p><p>Shepard stood without warning, hitting the lock on her terminal as she did. “LT, let’s take this to the briefing room. Traynor, you know where to find me.”</p><p>“Yes ma’am,” Traynor agreed without further comment. Shepard nodded and moved out.</p><p>Once Shepard had made the short traverse to the briefing room, she stood at the door indicating that Ashley should precede her into the room, head down, an attitude that screamed either harassed or exhausted, but was probably both. She mashed at the door panel with a scowl and crossed her arms.</p><p>“I’ve been sleeping for shit since we got back from the Apolex,” she said without preamble. It should have been terrifying that she hadn’t tried to hedge or hesitate, and she was sure Ashley had made note of it. “It started the night we came back. At first, it was standard bullshit; the kind I’m surprised I don’t have more often. Bodies on the Citadel, those fucking charred sunflowers, the usual. Shitty, but.” A shrug; she wasn’t paying close enough attention to see Ashley’s wince at the mention. “But last night--” now she paused. Alarmed at the edge in her voice, she swallowed and found a work surface to fix her gaze upon. “Last night it was Alchera. In full surround. Every time I closed my eyes. Every. Time.”</p><p>Ashley made a sound that was all alarm and distress. “Holy shit, Shepard. I can’t-- I can’t imagine.” Shepard kept her eyes on the panel, picking out the intricate contours of controls that she didn’t even process, just picking out lines and colors to focus on.</p><p>“I try not to think about it, and to be honest, I haven’t really had time to feel sorry for myself over it in-- Okay. I guess, years in total, but actively one? But. This was different. I could hear Joker calling out to me on the comms. There was-- god, so much panic around him that I never really realized before, and he wasn’t the only one trying to reach me. I just--” Shepard took a deep, shaky breath through her nose. “I never really wanted to examine the bits of the memories, but last night-- I couldn’t stop. It was hellish. She looked up at Ashley, took in her expression, and huffed a mirthless laugh. “You tried to contact me, too, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “I remember. Now.”</p><p>“Well, fuck,” said Ashley covering her heavy exhale with her hand. “I was under the mistaken impression I myself would be able to go back to sleep anytime in the next decade. I guess I’ll be right there with you at insomnia o’clock tonight.”</p><p>“Right?” Shepard said with a too-enthusiastic nod. “Starboard Observation. I’ll bring the booze. We’ll watch old episodes of Dog or Not.”</p><p>“Done. But why now?” Ashley frowned hard. “Did something <i>happen</i> on the Apolex?” Shepard mirrored her expression.</p><p>“No,” she said with a slight headshake. “The exchange went according to plan. I worked with Victus, we sparred with various turians, either Vakarian or I kicked their asses at cards. Met one lone crew chief that gave me a run for my money at it, though.” She paused and breathed out. Fuck it. “And we spent most of our evenings scanning Victus’ reports for evidence of Reaper influence, because I kept feeling them looking over my shoulder.”</p><p>“What?!” Ashley exclaimed, incredulous. “How? And how are you just now saying something about it?”</p><p>“Your guess is as good as mine,” Shepard said with a sigh. “And I didn’t want to cry wolf until I had something. This is a pretty big fucking something though.”</p><p>“Right. Well. Bottom line, we’re either in a lot more danger than we thought or you’re out of your goddamn mind,” Ashley said, trying to work through it. “More than usual, that is.”</p><p>“Right,” Shepard agreed. “I have some thoughts but, I’m--” she shrugged, “I need coffee or stims before I can sort them like this.”</p><p>“Or an uninterrupted nap,” Ashley said with a nod.</p><p>“Or that,” Shepard agreed.</p><p>“I would offer to stand guard but you’ve got someone to do that. Doesn’t sound like it helped.”</p><p>“Pffft,” Shepard said. “All he could do was look worried and tell me to call Chakwas. What was I gonna say? Hello? I’m having nightmares?”</p><p>“Right?” Ashley said for what had to have been the thousandth time. </p><p>“So,” exhaled Shepard.</p><p>“So,” Ashley responded in kind. “Anything in Victus’ reports?”</p><p>“Nothing I could see. Nothing out of place. Garrus spent a week working on running the crew list against Hierarchy positions either for themselves or people they’re connected to. We’ve got a shortlist of people that seem to have the most to gain from Victus stepping down, and I’ve crossed that with the crew chatter we’ve noted over the past three weeks, but we have nothing concrete to pin them to. The crew is definitely turning on Victus though--” Shepard threw a hand up briefly. “We’re missing something big.”</p><p>Ashley frowned and thought. “We need someone on the inside. Failing that, we need proof of… whatever they’re up to. Someone is at the very least whispering in the right ears, really loudly.” </p><p>Shepard tilted her head at Ashley. “Wait--” she said, looking up without seeing anything, on the edge of pulling something up from her memory based on what Ashley had just said. “Wait-- say that again--”</p><p>“We need someone on the inside?” Ashley asked.</p><p>“No--” Shepard said, standing up straight. “No-- <i>whispering</i>.” </p><p>It felt like Reapers.</p><p>Reaper tech liked to whisper. Of fucking course. Chances that this was all in her head were steadily dropping to nil.</p><p>“Shit,” she said as a cold shiver raced up her spine. “EDI. Get Tali and Vakarian up here, ASAP.”</p><p>“Contacting them now, Commander,” EDI responded.</p><p>“Care to share with the class?” Ashley asked, brow furrowed. Shepard held up a hand.</p><p>“Short version?” she said, as she began poking at her omnitool and throwing schematics and data trees from it up onto the screen. “I think we need to go looking explicitly for mind control tech, sooner rather than later.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“How’s it coming?” Shepard asked as she dropped in unannounced for the second time that day into Tali’s workspace.</p><p>Tali held a hand out in her direction as though warding her off. “Not well enough that you can come distract me whenever you feel like it, Shepard. EDI, look at this-- can we use it?” she said, poking at the console in front of her. </p><p>“Working,” said EDI, and Tali straightened up.</p><p>“I’m just here to see if I can throw more resources at you,” Shepard said, holding out one of Tali’s ration packs. </p><p>“Snacks, I’ll take,” Tali said, taking the pack. “Where is yours? Did you eat?”</p><p>“Two hours ago. At the usual time,” Shepard said, popping the ship time up to display above her omnitool.</p><p>“Keelah,” sighed Tali. “It’s not right, you reminding me.”</p><p>“Is that a good sign?” asked Shepard, taking a seat on the stool Tali wasn’t using anyway.</p><p>“I think so,” she gestured towards the screen. “EDI is helping me work through the frequencies and signatures of all known mind-altering tech we’ve encountered that’s Reaper or Reaper-based. We should have them together within the next few hours. The best bet is slapping together a small remote platform for EDI, and then--”</p><p>“Then,” said Garrus as he rounded the bottom step into the already-cramped workspace, sending Tali’s beads clicking hard as he came through. He was carrying what looked to be a rectangular metal box the size of a large laptop that he offered to Tali as soon as he came close.  “We walk it around the Apolex and see what we can see.”</p><p>“That’s… reasonable,” nodded Shepard. “Somewhat. What’s the cover for walking it around?”</p><p>“Well,” said Tali, setting the box on her worktable. “I’ve been working the power problems, so if I’m poking around anywhere, I have a solid excuse.”</p><p>“And I’ll go as backup,” Garrus said, leaning over and poking at the box, causing the top to open and reveal a datapad and a scanner array. “In case she gets too close to something, or someone puts two and two together and takes issue with it.”</p><p>“Hrm,” said Shepard, turning it over in her mind. “I like it. But I’m not sending you, Vakarian.”</p><p>“Shepard--” he started, but she held a hand up.</p><p>“It would look suspicious to send you back again so soon. Tali’s made herself indispensable with engineering.” Shepard shrugged. “I’ll send Vega with you, though. I trust him to have your back.”</p><p>Garrus exchanged a look with Tali, and then he nodded grudgingly. “Yeah. Alright. But we’re coming to get you if anything goes wrong.”</p><p>Tali waved him off. “I do have a shotgun, Vakarian, and I know how to use it.”</p><p>“It’s true,” Shepard said. “I’ve seen her do it.” Garrus shrugged an assent and she went on, decisively in command mode. “I’ll put a brief together for Victus that I want you to hand to him personally when you get there. If you find something, you’ll need to keep it together and keep it to yourself until we can extract you. If shit hits a fan, though, get EDI on a secure channel. They’ll know you’re contacting us, but they shouldn’t be able to crack into it and we will absolutely come find you. Otherwise, I want to keep up appearances until we can’t. Understood?”</p><p>It was Tali’s turn to shoot her a dubious look. </p><p>“Don’t,” Shepard said. “I’m trying to keep you and Victus in one piece. The rotation should take us right up on Callisto. Once we’re there, our options expand somewhat.”</p><p>“Understood,” Tali sighed.</p><p>“Good,” Shepard said with a nod. “Do you need spare hands? We’ve got a couple of days before crew rotation, but I want to make sure we have time to check everything twice.”</p><p>“An extra pair of arms would be the best birthday present, Shepard,” Tali said, tapping a finger to the side of her visor, “but the extensive genetic mods and the custom suit I’d need seem a little more trouble than they’re worth.”  </p><p>“Smart ass,” Shepard grumbled as she stood. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”</p><p>“It’s a no, as long as I can hold on to Vakarian for a little while longer,” Tali agreed.</p><p>“You got it. I have a date with Williams in Starboard Observation anyway,” Shepard said negligently over her shoulder as she made her way to the stairs. </p><p>“What?” said Tali, just as Garrus said, “Hold on--”</p><p>“What what?” said Shepard, a flash of a tired smirk visible as she rounded the stairs, her voice somehow not quite as cheerful as she was making it out to be. “Oh, fine. Join us when you’re done. We’ll be there for a while.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Looks like you’re packed,” Shepard said with a nod as she approached Tali, Garrus, and Vega, standing at the workbench in the docking bay, Tali’s small, hard-side case open on the surface in front of them. Contained within was EDI’s remote, currently open with its scanner array deployed. Garrus was poking at his omnitool, muttering about frequencies. “Are we good, here?”</p><p>“EDI Remote platform 2.0,” came EDI’s voice from the device. “Connection verified. All systems verified. Awaiting command.”</p><p>“Yep,” Tali said with a nod. She shut the remote, shut the case, then patted it fondly. “Time for a field trip.”</p><p>“Good work,” Shepard said. She handed Tali the same data chip that Victus had palmed to Garrus. “This is the brief for Victus.” She went on as Tali made it disappear into a pocket. “Stay safe. I know we’ve worked it through, but we’re standing by if you run into trouble.”</p><p>“Got it,” said Tali. </p><p>Vega nodded. “I heard there was a turian with a bony ass that needs kicking though,” he said, waggling an eyebrow.</p><p>“Don’t do it, Vega. We need both you and Pollux in one piece,” said Shepard. “Besides, I did kick it pretty well. Give me some credit.”</p><p>“Now, I know she’d be dead if you wanted her that way, Lola,” Vega said with a shrug, hands spread. “I’m just saying I might want a turn.”</p><p>“Don’t. Buuut--” Garrus said with a sly smile, “The crew chief is fair game.” </p><p>EDI Actual chimed in from overhead, “Apolex shuttle has launched. Approximately 11 minutes to dock.”</p><p>Shepard gave them a decisive nod. “Vega, you ready?”</p><p>“Loaded for bear, Commander,” he said, shooting a look at the duffel at his feet. “But as far as I know, I’m going over there to do some PT, play cards, and discuss small squad ground technique.”</p><p>“Yep,” she said. Her eyes strayed to the countdown on EDI’s avatar, and she nodded one more time. “Good.” </p><p>There seemed nothing left to do; her team knew what they were about, and they were really goddamn good at it. So. It was time to let them work. The count clicked down, the shuttle docked, Garrus exchanged a handshake with Vega that became a knucklebump, and she attended the crew exchange, as usual. </p><p>Everything went without a hitch.  It should have felt like a victory.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Once Vega and Tali had been packed off to the Apolex, Shepard ascribed her disturbance to whatever was happening with the Apolex in conjunction with the fact that it just seemed wrong, having her team on a mission without her. It was in retrospect, totally reasonable for it to seem wrong to send them off without her. She believed in leading from the front; she always had. Then again, there hadn’t been anything to do about it, either. She couldn’t very well storm the Apolex. That hadn’t kept her from thinking about it over the course of some five out of seven of the rotation days, though. </p><p>“Running from anything in particular?” asked Joker as he walked up to the treadmill that Shepard had been punishing for no apparent reason. He was dressed in gym clothes, too, and she assumed he’d come here to work out, which he usually didn’t do until well after-- she checked the time. </p><p>“Lunch, apparently,” she huffed, slowing with the treadmill to a more reasonable walking speed to cool down. She’d blown right through her usual times here, her mind on overdrive.</p><p>“Vega isn’t even here to taunt you with his improbably huge muscles,” Joker said. “There’s no reason to show off.”</p><p>“There’s always a reason,” Shepard said with a smirk, reaching for her towel and liberally applying it to her face and chest. </p><p>“Okay, so you want muscles the size of your head, but what did the treadmill do to deserve this?” Joker asked as Shepard carelessly stopped in the middle of the belt and let the treadmill roll her back until she hopped off of the back as it slowed to a stop. There was a little bit of a buckle, but she stuck the landing. “I mean, I’ll hate every second I spend on it, but at least I won’t abuse it.” </p><p>“I did start at the weights,” Shepard said, lifting her good leg and stretching her quad. “I haven’t actually been running for two hours.” She grabbed for the ankle on the bad leg and pulled it up into the same stretch. It couldn’t stay there for long and it was somewhat unpleasant, but. Progress!</p><p>“Meatheads weird me out. I’m lucky to hit my, ‘required PT’,” he said, complete with air quotes.</p><p>“I’m aware,” she said, darting a look at him before taking several steps away to the mat, both so that he could get on and she could keep stretching. “I see the logs.”</p><p>“Do you though?” he asked, his always biting tone becoming a little more brittle. </p><p>“...Yes?” she said, waiting for that other shoe to drop. She’d been about to drop into a triangle stretch, and paused in an awkward reach. </p><p>Joker poked at the treadmill controls and started to walk slowly. “It doesn’t seem like you read your messages. I might have to start sending official requests on forms and who knows what. Sounds awful.”</p><p>She almost said, “Messages?” But then what he was talking about hit her square in the face. EDI, of course.</p><p>“About that--” she said instead. She didn’t know what to say, but she really needed to say something. Hell, she should have said something long ago, but she hadn’t wanted to oversell Tali’s abilities. And she’d been so far up her own ass about this trip and rehabilitating herself that maybe she hadn’t spent enough time talking with him off of a ledge about it, relying on Chakwas instead for that job. </p><p>“Yeah, about that, Shepard,” Joker said. His tone was still jokey, but there was nothing amusing about it. “About the ghost in the walls of this ship that you won’t let me exorcise. So wild.”</p><p>“Joker--” she said, returning to a fully upright position and walking around to where he had originally stood to address her. “I’m sorry. It’s a rough situation, but--”</p><p>“I know. I get it, alright?” he said, cutting her off. “Turns out that I just can’t deal with it.”</p><p>“Listen--” she tried again, but he cut her off.</p><p>“I said I get it,” he said, picking up the pace a little. “But I’m gonna need you to drop me off on Artemis.” </p><p>Shepard tilted her head at him. “It’s a colony world in a backwater. What the hell are you going to do there?”</p><p>“That’s the great thing about it! You’re the commander,” he said with a shrug. “Reassign me. Or I’ll resign and figure it out myself. Whatever. Either way, you better hope that thing you call an AI can fly as well as I can.”</p><p>“If that’s what you really want,” she said, wondering how much the progress Tali had reported would matter to him if she shared it, “I’ll make it happen.”</p><p>“Great. Thanks, Shepard,” he said with a nod, as though he’d asked for a towel. He kicked up the treadmill another notch. “‘Scuse me though-- I can’t carry on conversations at <i>optimal heart rate</i>.”</p><p>“You got it,” Shepard said, knowing better than to try and talk him down just then. She patted the treadmill, and turned on her heel, wondering if they had enough of EDI’s restorations up their collective sleeve to keep him around or if it was just going to piss him off some more when he heard what they’d been doing. </p><p>Only one way to find out, and it was at least two days away.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Shepard reported for the next crew transfer, with Garrus and Ashley this time. As was also the usual since the first transfer, the current squad of returning turian marines patiently stood behind them. This group included two marines who had been absolutely fleeced at Skyllian Five, and one for whom this was a second trip to the Normandy, and had been smart enough to stay out of it. One day out from Callisto, they weren’t even scheduled to send a team back, so it should theoretically have been a less complicated exchange than usual.</p><p>Garrus had managed to keep up appearances and get them talking about the inconsequential bullshit they had gotten up to. It had the excellent side effect of keeping giving her something to do other than obsessing about what Tali could have found on the Apolex for the most part, but her hackles were still up, and would likely not come down until she and Vega were safely back. </p><p>“Vakarian,” said Caius, one of the fleeced marines. “Next time, we’d appreciate a warning regarding pirates aboard.” His tone was amiable and was met with several tones of equally amused subharmonics from all of the turians present. Shepard chuckled and had the grace to look abashed.</p><p>“I mean, I’ve seen my share of destruction but that was... impressive,” she agreed. EDI pinged a two-minute countdown as the shuttle approached.</p><p>Octavia Severn snorted indelicately. “It was like you were fledglings, wandering into a forest filled with angry varren. And all we could do was laugh.”</p><p>“Don’t worry boys,” added Ashley. “She does it to all the new recruits, just to make a point.”</p><p>“And to replace her damnable fish,” said Garrus. </p><p>“That too,” agreed Ashley. “At least you don’t have to clean the fish tank.”</p><p>“My fish are not damnable,” said Shepard with feigned disgust, turning to face them, “and--”</p><p>The shuttle crane maneuvered into place as EDI announced the end of decontamination proceedings, and Shepard began to actually feel a little more at ease. “At any rate,” she nodded once with a small smile. “I look forward to seeing you all again at some point. It’s been a pleasure.” The turians all gave their thanks, echoing the sentiment just as the shuttle took its place in the guest berth before them. </p><p>“Bring more credits next time, though,” said Garrus, eliciting at least one groan and one rueful chuckle. He was still in the process of returning his attention to the shuttle as the door began to swing upwards when the hairs on the back of Shepard’s neck began to prickle, no longer at any ease. The slice of visible space into the shuttle showed turians rather than her crew at the fore, and their stance was entirely off. </p><p>She threw up her shields on instinct, stepped fully in front of Garrus, and shouted, “Gun!”</p><p>Shepard barely heard a, “What the f--” even as she swept her hand across her field of vision, aiming a biotic throw at the nearest turian on the shuttle as shots pinged off of her shields. He was shoved off of his feet and sent flying, but the turian behind him was able to sidestep his body and was already taking aim again. Garrus grabbed her around the middle and dashed for cover behind a nearby crate on deck, and she took the opportunity to pull her handgun and hold it on the shuttle door. </p><p>While the beginnings of an ill-considered firefight were already echoing around her in the enclosed space, EDI’s disembodied voice called for security backup. One of their turian marines --Shepard was pretty sure it was the third turian, Decmus-- was down, Octavia appeared to be hunkered on the other side of the shuttle with Ashley. Caius was suddenly rushing into her line of sight towards the shuttle, knocking the weapon from one attacker’s hands. She shouted at him to stop, but it was too late.</p><p>The shuttle door shut again, but EDI’s alarms remained active. The hand Garrus had used to drag her behind the crate was still planted at her waist. “Shepard,” he asked, voice pitched low, “Alright?” </p><p>“Not even punctured,” she growled angrily. “You?”</p><p>“In one piece, thanks to my preternaturally prepared girlfriend,” he said with a hard exhale. “Thoughts, Commander?”</p><p>“I’d say it was time to go kick the shit out of a couple of turians, but they seem to have Caius.” </p><p>Garrus frowned, his eyes still on the shuttle door. “Damn.”</p><p>“EDI,” Shepard called out. “Patch the shuttle comms directly to me.” Shepard held up her omnitool and was given a virtual screen with which to converse with the would-be assassins. </p><p>“Working, Commander. The protocols are not the Apolex standard,” said EDI. Shepard exchanged a look of confusion with Garrus. “Done.”</p><p>There were two turians still on their feet, a third sprawled against the back wall of the shuttle, and a fourth suspended by the throat with a heavy pistol pressed high up under his ribs. Caius. “Who sent you?” Shepard began, not bothering with a preamble.</p><p>The turian holding the gun on Caius responded in Turian, apparently without a translation device, since she couldn’t understand him, and it was going to take her omnitool a second to kick in. She did see Octavia clench her fist, and could hear Garrus grumbling under his breath. She shrugged and responded anyway.</p><p>“Fine, whatever. Let Caius go and we’ll talk. You might even live through this.”</p><p>“Shepard,” Garrus hissed, “I don’t think--” but his sentence was cut short by the thunderous crack of the attacker’s gun, blowing a massive hole into Caius’s side. Shepard recoiled slightly with a sharp inhale, the only reaction her training would allow even as they dropped Caius’s body to the deck of the shuttle.</p><p>“You have fucked up so hard,” Shepard growled, but the show wasn’t over. The second standing attacker turned his weapon on the prone turian. Another crack, then he exchanged a look with the first turian, and then they turned their weapons on themselves. The first turian shouted something that took Shepard’s omnitool a few seconds to decipher before pulling the trigger, so she was still listening to the tinny translation as his body hit the deck. She opened and closed her mouth twice to keep her jaw from locking down.</p><p>
  <i>“This body does not matter. We are still unstoppable.”</i>
</p><p>“Vakarian. Did you hear that, too?” Shepard asked, voice pitched as quietly as possible, preferring to believe that she had lost her damn mind rather than having actually heard what she’d just heard.</p><p>“Yeah,” he responded, his mandibles clicking in agitation. “I don’t believe it, but I heard it.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Shepard spat, and it was suddenly clear why her head had been a mess this whole damned mission. She stared at the bodies on the orange screen for just one more second before speaking at full volume. “EDI. Confirm life signs in the shuttle.”</p><p>“None, Commander,” EDI confirmed. Garrus ran a hand down his fringe, Ashley straightened up, and Octavia hopped the short rut and rushed toward Decmus. </p><p>“Hull integrity?”</p><p>“Intact.”</p><p>“Cover the door,” she said-- a general directive born of an overabundance of caution. “EDI, raise Chakwas, confirm the seals, then pop the hatch,” Shepard ordered, raising her own weapon again. The newly-arrived backup all held weapons on the shuttle, but as it softly hissed open again, nothing within stirred. Shepard cautiously advanced into the interior, which was now spattered with blue-purple globs of blood and tissue. Garrus followed, checking Caius for vitals first; she spared a glance for him, only to be rewarded with a grim headshake of confirmation. Prodding one of the new arrivals with her boot, she noted that he did not look familiar.</p><p>“Let’s get some identification on these three and find out what happened to this goddamn shuttle,” Shepard said, holstering her weapon and returning to the ship proper. “I want everything we can pull off of those bastards, and I want it yesterday. Octavia--” she said a little more quietly.</p><p>“He’s alive,” Octavia responded, peering at both her omnitool and the prone turian. “Spirits know for how much longer.”</p><p>“Let’s do something about that,” Chakwas said as she arrived, already prodding at her own diagnostics. “I was under the impression that this was supposed to remain a quiet trip, Shepard.” </p><p>Jaw set so tight it ached, Shepard didn’t bother responding with anything but, “Keep me posted.” She turned to address nowhere in particular again and said, “EDI. Status on Tali and Vega?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Something ain’t right,” Vega muttered. The hair on the back of his neck was standing at attention better than the average Alliance marine. He set his duffel on the deck and began fitting the battle components onto his service armor and maglocking his weapons in place. If it turned out nothing was wrong, he guessed he’d end up looking paranoid, but. Screw it-- better paranoid than dead. </p><p>He rejoined Tali at the door as she poked at the control panel.</p><p>Tali for her part had felt the same way at pretty much the moment that their scheduled escort to the shuttle bay had deposited them in a nondescript room halfway there. He’d announced that the transit was running late due to minor technical issues and to please wait. In the half hour since then, it had been impossible to raise him or anyone else due to “communications errors”. And they’d discovered that their door had been locked.</p><p>“I’ve almost got it,” she said quietly. “Are you ready?” Vega gave a rueful half-nod, but stopped.</p><p>“Hold up,” he said, already looking around the room for it. “We gotta get this EDI back to the Normandy.” Spotting Tali’s large, square case and her duffel, yanking open the latter.</p><p>“Yes. Be careful--” she hissed, but he held a hand up. </p><p>“I got it, ok?” He reached over and maglocked her shotgun in place on her back, then returned to the case and deposited EDI’s remote into his now mostly-empty bag, and then shifted the strap over his head to leave his hands free. “Sorry about the case, though.”</p><p>“Fine. Good thinking,” Tali said with a grimace. “Okay. I still can’t get past the comms block-- there’s no way it’s an accident. If I had another ten minutes I could figure it out, but I vote that the door’s a higher priority.”</p><p>“Agreed. Let’s get the fuck out of here,” he said, checking his HUD and running quick diagnostics. </p><p>“Okay,” she said with a nod. She took a deep breath and made to hit the door panel with her hastily-patched-together override code, but before she could do so, it slid open. Vega had his gun on the door in a heartbeat, but the turian standing in the doorway held his hands up.</p><p>“It’s me,” said Rand, darting a look to both sides of the door, ostensibly checking the gangway for anyone else. “I’m unarmed.”</p><p>Tali placed a hand on Vega’s gun and lowered it, hissing, “What is going on?” Rand quickstepped into the room, letting the doors close behind him. He went straight to Tali, placing both his hands on her shoulders.</p><p>“Tali’Zorah, listen to me,” Rand said, his eyes darting to Vega and back. “You need to get off this ship and back to the Normandy.”</p><p>“That’s what we’re trying to do, buddy,” Vega retorted. “Seems to be a little more of a challenge than we expected.”</p><p>“That’s why I’m here,” Rand answered, even though his eyes were still on Tali, pleading with her to understand, though what she should be understanding was unclear. “I’m going to take you around to the freight side of the docking bay. We’re going to get you on a shuttle and I will make sure the Apolex is going to let you go.”</p><p>“Rand--” Tali started, at a loss for where she should even start. “Why?” </p><p>He exhaled hard and put a hand on her arm. “We don’t have time.” he tried, but she took a hard step back, yanking herself out of his grip.</p><p>“No! Did you know about the Reaper tech?” she growled, and pain blossomed across Rand’s expression.</p><p>“No! I mean, it’s just Cerberus tech, but yes. We were only supposed to be destabilizing the Primarch, turning opinion against him, but then the Normandy was assigned to come along and then Shepard sent you to poke around-- they were going to have to do something. Please believe me. Tali. I would never want you to be hurt.” </p><p>“You come for my ship? My captain? You come for me,” she said, the menace in her voice very real, and suddenly very present. “What did you think was going to happen? Where do you think it came from?” Tali placed both hands on his chest and shoved him. “Bosh’tet ke’sed!” Vega raised his weapon again and aimed it squarely between the turian’s eyes. </p><p>“What she said, shithead.”</p><p>“Wait! Please,” Rand said, stumbling backward but otherwise keeping his footing. “You won’t be able to get off the ship without me. Let me make sure you’re safe. I don’t care what happens to me, but please. Please, I need to know you’re safe.”</p><p>“Tali, can you get us off the ship without him?” Vega asked in a cold, low voice.</p><p>Tali’s rage was keeping her from feeling most of the hurt, but her heart squeezed in her chest as she examined Rand’s expression, seemingly filled with contrition and fear for her safety. “Probably,” she said, and Rand swore. “But it’ll be quicker with his help if he’s not trying to lure us into a trap.”</p><p>“You’re already trapped,” Rand pointed out. “I didn’t have to come.”</p><p>She wanted to scream. She wanted to kick him and demand to know how much of his affection had been bullshit, because it hadn’t felt like bullshit at all, but here they were. But right now what she really wanted to do was get back to the Normandy. Tali pulled her shottie off of her back and pointed it at Rand. </p><p>“Go. We’re right behind you.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Suit signs show that they are alive, but heart rates are elevated and location on the Apolex is erratic,” EDI reported.</p><p>“...their locations are erratic?” Ashley asked. </p><p>Shepard followed up with, “Can you contact them?”</p><p>“Transmissions seem to be jammed, Commander,” EDI responded. “Give me just a moment to circumvent it.” Shepard gestured towards Octavia but addressed security backup. </p><p>“Take her into custody.”</p><p>“What?” Octavia said, her head popping up from where she had been following Chakwas to the lift, even as the security detail took her arms and Ashley began to raise her weapon. “No-- this is-- Damn you and Victus, both!” She stopped talking, shook her head, and looked surprised. “I-- What?”</p><p>Garrus hissed again and Shepard added, “Sedate her.” Octavia struggled briefly, but Chakwas was on her within seconds, and then she was slumping deckward. The doctor eyed Shepard, but said nothing.</p><p>“EDI, now would be good.”</p><p>“Working, Commander,” EDI replied. </p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“Tali,” said Rand as they rounded another corner that brought them closer to the shuttle bay. </p><p>“Shut up,” she said, ruthless in her quest to get home. She was no longer holding the shotgun on him, but she was staying firmly on task, taking point while Vega hung back to watch their six. The gangways were eerily empty, and there were no overhead announcements to speak of. The sense of abandonment was so wrong, it sent a shiver up Tali’s spine, and she was glad to take the tension out on Rand.</p><p>“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry,” Rand said anyway. Tali was certain he didn’t know her even half as well as he should, because right this very moment he should really have been terrified. </p><p>“Well, I’m sorry I wasted antibiotics on you, so I guess we’re even,” she said, pausing only a beat before adding, “Shithead,” trying her damndest to sound like a real Normandy marine. He visibly winced, and she was as pleased with her success as she could be about anything just then. </p><p>A door slid open behind them and a turian emerged, weapon in hand. Vega spared no time in delivering a hard, downward chop to cause the turian’s arm to drop the rifle accompanied by the sound of cracking armor, then smashing him full in the face with the gun in his own hand. The turian went down and Vega hit him again. He stayed down. Vega hazarded a look into the room the turian had come from, saw nothing, and hissed, “Clear.”</p><p>Tali nodded, and Rand pointed down the hall. “It’s the second door, we’re almost there.”</p><p>“Go,” Tali grunted, shoving his arm and after a brief look around began a sprint to the door. She could hear both men on her heels, but no one else had come for them by the time they got there. She lifted her omnitool, but Rand beat her to it. </p><p>“Let me,” he said. “I can do it without setting off the alerts.”</p><p>Tali glared at him, but gave him a curt nod and stepped back. True to his word, the doors were sliding open less than a minute later, and no obvious alarms were sounding. Rand beckoned to them to follow into the large space and led the way. He had said they were heading for the freight door, and indeed, there were many oversized crates stacked in neat rows around them. He took cover behind the nearest stacks, consulting his omnitool and waiting for Tali and Vega to catch up before pointing to the closest of the only two remaining shuttles in the bay.</p><p>“That’s the one you want,” he said. “I’ll raise the doors, but you’ll have to be ready to fly it out. I don’t know how long you’ll have.”</p><p>“You’re coming with us,” said Tali decisively. “I need you to tell Shepard everything you know.”</p><p>“I can’t,” said Rand. “I need to get to that workstation--” he pointed to a work area in the opposite direction of the shuttle, “--to make sure you have a chance to get off the ship.” </p><p>“I can fly it,” said Vega. “Let’s go.”</p><p>“We need to know what’s going on,” insisted Tali. “All of it.”</p><p>Rand mashed at his omnitool and Tali’s pinged. “I sent you all I could.” With a quick movement that she didn’t have time to avoid, he reached out and set a hand on the side of Tali’s head and bumped his forehead to her visor, then dashed to the workstation. Tali’s jaw was set so hard, she said nothing, returning her attention to the shuttle. </p><p>“Alright, kid?” asked Vega, low, almost under his breath.</p><p>“Fine, Vega,” she said, having to really work to get the words out. Her attention was on the shuttle, hyperfocusing to leave the rest behind. Blessedly, he said nothing. The lights at the shuttle door went from red to green and she saw the telltale signs of the hatch being popped ever so slightly. </p><p>At roughly the same time, the door they had come through slid open and two more turians came through, weapons aimed in their direction. Tali opened fire with a loud bark, and the first turian fell in a spatter of blue. The other only had the chance to turn his rifle partway towards them before Vega took him out as well.</p><p>“Go!” shouted Rand. Tali and Vega sprinted for the shuttle. The door was only halfway up but Vega dived in, followed closely by Tali, who slammed her hand on the controls to get the door to begin lowering again while Vega headed straight for the pilot’s seat. At the sound of more boots hitting the deck, Tali turned and crouched from as protected a position at the door as possible in time to see three more turians. The alert was sounding, and the large bay doors began to slide open, leaving an impossibly thin energy shield behind as their only protection from the void. A volley of blasts sounded and Rand slumped against the console even as another set of shots sounded against the hull of the now-closed door of the shuttle. </p><p>Tali didn’t realize she’d screamed Rand’s name; she was busy flailing wildly for the door controls until Vega hauled her up from her harness and all but tossed her into the second seat. He fired the shuttle up and brought it up and off the deck as close to ‘immediately’ as possible. Tali’s omnitool crackled with short-range direct communication and it was Rand’s face on the display. </p><p>“Go. I can-- I’ll hold them off, but I can’t keep the doors open long.” The picture broke up as he visibly gasped for air, and Tali could barely see through a haze of tears she’d been holding back. </p><p>“Thank you,” she managed. </p><p>“I l--” he coughed and tried again, “I’ll be seeing you.”</p><p>The connection broke as Vega was able to pull the shuttle through the doors and out of short range, and they were on their way back to the Normandy. Tali sat, stunned, her eyes on the stars around them without really seeing anything at all. Vega reached out, wordlessly took her hand, and squeezed it even as he spoke into the comms. </p><p>“Normandy Actual, come in, over.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“An Apolex shuttle is approaching, two life forms aboard. Suit trackers are now showing Lieutenant Vega and Specialist vas Normandy to be approaching Normandy Actual… confirmed. Patching them in.”</p><p>“Commander,” said Vega, breathless and agitated over the weak connection. “We found the source of the problem. It’s not good.”</p><p>“Cerberus brainwashing tech,” came Tali’s voice, equally distressed and somehow sounding broken. Icy fingers danced down Shepard’s spine. “It’s apparently some bastardized variant, but someone planted at least one crawler in the maintenance ducts.”</p><p>“And there are a handful of turians that did not want us getting off the ship to say so,” added Vega. “Two fewer than there were before, but please tell me there aren’t weapons trained on us right now.”</p><p>“No evidence of weapons hot on the Apolex, Lieutenant Vega,” said EDI. “Estimated docking with Normandy Actual in eight point five nine minutes.”</p><p>“Tali, check the shuttle while Vega brings you in. Comb that pile of junk and make sure there aren’t any surprises on it. Good work getting home, Shepard out.” She was already stalking to the lift, waiting for it to return.  </p><p>“EDI, officers in the briefing room. Send Tali and Vega up when they get here, and get Victus on comms, priority one.”</p><p>“Yes, Commander,” EDI responded, as Shepard stalked into the lift followed by Garrus and Ashley, letting the adrenaline wash over her. Ashley spoke once the doors had shut.</p><p>“Someone gonna tell me why the hell that turian spooked you so bad?” she asked.</p><p>“He was quoting Harbinger,” said Garrus. Shepard’s mouth was set in a tight line, but she tagged on to that thought.</p><p>“Which means they were coming for us. or making it look like that.” </p><p>Ashley paused, then swore. Then swore again, more colorfully.</p><p>“Yep,” agreed Garrus. “All of that.”</p><p>The lift deposited them on the CIC level and the three of them stalked with purpose towards the communications room. </p><p>“EDI, status.” She asked.</p><p>“I have Primarch Victus for you,” EDI chimed in. “I was able to work around the jamming on the Apolex to reach the Primarch directly; the connection is weak, but stable.”</p><p>Shepard walked into the small room and right up to the holoplatform where a blue-tinted and somewhat pixelated Victus awaited, clearly speaking into a personal device. Garrus and Ashley followed but hung back at the door.</p><p>“Shepard, thank the spirits,” said Victus through his holographic presence. “I just learned about what happened. Pollux tells me that she’s unable to access comms directly, with Communications citing an unexpected maintenance issue as the cause. I’m surprised you were able to contact me at all. Your crewmembers are safe, I trust?”</p><p>“Yeah, but yours aren’t. We lost one of ours, along with three of the rebels on my ship. I don’t have the full debrief yet, but it sounds like at least two rebels that tried to stop my crew from leaving your ship won’t ever leave it again,” Shepard spat. “Are you safe?”</p><p>“Yes. I knew something wasn’t right,” Victus said with a headshake. “Pollux and I sealed the bridge, and I believe I can trust everyone here. You know the most about this technology, what’s our next move?”</p><p>“We evacuate your ship, period,” Shepard said, crossing her arms. “We can figure out who needs a boot in their ass and who needs medical attention far away from the brainwashing tech. Tali thinks the tech is a some mind-altering broadcast-based Cerberus tech, so at least it’s possible that your crew might not be permanently affected, but--”</p><p>“What? We can’t just abandon ship, Shepard,” said Victus, appalled. “It’s--”</p><p>“Victus,” she interrupted. “Hear the words coming out of my mouth: there is tech on your ship that is whispering to whomever it can reach, giving instructions you can’t counter.” Her stomach flopped over once as she pointed in his general direction. “Parts of my crew may have been affected, too, and some of your crew wants me dead along with you whether it’s their own doing or not. Get. The Fuck. Off that ship.”</p><p>Victus was silent for a long moment before speaking again. “Assuming that is the plan, how am I going to get the affected crew to comply? I just received a report that the crew transfer went off without a hitch.”</p><p>Shepard glowered at the blue hologram that seemed to occupy most of her field of vision. “Give me fifteen. We’ll come up with something.”</p><p>Victus looked around himself at whoever was in the room with him; Pollux, probably, and then answered, “We can do that.”</p><p>“Stay safe. Shepard out.” She cut the link and stalked to the briefing room where Garrus, Ashley, Vega, and Tali were waiting. </p><p>“Victus is safe for the moment. Some significant part of his crew is lying to him about what just happened, and he’s sealed off the bridge. We need to come up with a plan. Tali, Vega-- what the fuck is going on?”</p><p>Tali and Vega darted a look at each other as Tali brought up her omnitool. </p><p>“I--” Tali said with an audible hitch in her voice. Shepard had thought her voice seemed shakier than it should have been, but they’d fought off Reapers together, for fucksake-- what had a handful of turians done to rattle her so badly? </p><p>“I took the mini EDI station and used it to scan the systems that had been malfunctioning. I did a little at a time, moving around the ship and trying to stay quiet about it, and found evidence of the same kind of frequencies that we found at Sanctuary. I mapped out the hits and found that hotspots were moving every night, so last night, I grabbed Vega to be my lookout, we tracked the hotspot, and popped a panel out.” She tapped her omnitool to the console and several images were displayed, showing sickeningly familiar construction to the things they’d already seen too much of. Blue cables and metal joints around a roughly rectangular device on some sort of tread, nestled into a conduit filled with other neatly bundled wires and pipes. </p><p>“We left it where it was and got the hell out,” said Vega. “No one seemed to have noticed, so we acted cool. Today, they came to get us as usual, only they shunted us off halfway to the docking bay and locked us in a room.”</p><p>“R-Rand showed up and led us to the docking bay,” Tali said. “He said they had been trying to destabilize the Primarch, and hadn’t originally planned for the Normandy to become involved.” </p><p>Shepard’s blood ran a little colder when Vega reached out and laid a hand on Tali’s shoulder, but she kept up the narrative. “We ran into a little trouble getting on the shuttle. We took fire, Rand passed me some data, after which he was wounded and stayed behind to get the bay doors open for us. Current status unknown. EDI has the data packet.” </p><p>Shepard swallowed hard, covering it with a nod. “EDI?” </p><p>“In essence, the packet consists of evidence for the timeline of Lieutenant Surril’s attempts to subvert the crew and depose the Primarch,” EDI responded. “He was put in contact with former Cerberus operatives who sold him the technology they believed had been distilled down to strong suggestion, tinkered with by Engineering Chief Groban, and set to rove the ship. It would appear that when the Normandy was assigned to accompany the Apolex, Groban altered the programming to add the suggestion of Shepard as an enemy, as well as using information from records of her conflicts with the Collectors and the Reapers in the hopes of destabilizing her as well. Tali’Zorah and Lieutenant Vega were revealed to have discovered their plan at 0645 standard today, and Engineering Second Officer Rand convinced Groban to hold them rather than execute them immediately. A smaller faction that had been unexpectedly hyperaffected by the suggestions however took the shuttle and initiated the attack.”</p><p>Silence reigned. </p><p>“Thoughts?” said Shepard after a long moment. </p><p>“Have Victus and Pollux drop into an escape pod and blow the Apolex out of the sky?” said Ashley. Garrus glared, but she shrugged. “It’s Reaper tech. Even if they’re not indoctrinated, you heard-- they’re trying to brainwash their own crew. Who’s gonna come out of that alright?”</p><p> </p><p>“Make contact with the rebels and try to negotiate,” Garrus countered. “They want the Primarch gone-- maybe we can just take him off of their hands and let them think they won. We can figure out how Victus wants it handled once he knows the whole truth.” Now it was Ashley’s turn to glare, but he shrugged a concession, “And if he wants us to blow the ship, then we blow the ship. Tali says it’s not actually Reaper tech, but Williams isn’t all wrong.”</p><p>Shepard frowned even harder. Tali cleared her throat. </p><p>“Disable the ship, board and capture it,” said Tali, voice still rough. “Some casualties are inevitable, but the ship stays intact and we might be able to save some of the crew.” Shepard gave a half nod.</p><p>“Disabling the life support would leave them enough atmo in a ship that size to give them plenty of time to off Victus,” Vega said. </p><p>“Yeah,” Shepard acknowledged, drawing out the word as she had an idea. “What if we disable the crew, and drag the ship in?” Ashley tilted her head, but she went on. “EDI. Check in with Chakwas and see if we have the necessary means to pump a sedative effective on turians into the ship’s life support.”</p><p>“Right away, Commander,” EDI responded. </p><p>“Oh that’s good,” said Garrus with a nod.</p><p>“We don’t know how many people on that ship are our allies, or would be if they didn’t have the tech fucking with them,” said Shepard. “I’m not comfortable taking them out, not after we’ve lost so many others.”</p><p>“Ok,” said Ashley. “So we what-- nip over there and play Sandman? What happens when they come around?”</p><p>“We call forward to Callisto and ask them to send medical transport,” Garrus said in a tone that said he was thinking out loud. “We might be able to get hands on them right away.”</p><p>“And while they’re out, we go over there and clean up the Cerberus tech. And bring a med team,” said Tali.</p><p>“But are we gonna get Victus out?” mused Vega. “Or do we just knock ‘em all out and sort through them later?”</p><p>“Commander,” interrupted EDI. “Dr. Chakwas is on her way.”</p><p>“Okay,” Shepard said, pulling schematics for the Apolex up onto the big screen. “Let’s work the problem. EDI-- Airlocks?”</p><p>Three locations lit up on the ship map. The docking bay, of course, but also two maintenance airlocks, one near the aft of the ship, and one nearer to the fore, directly off of an access passage to engineering.</p><p>“It should be a straight shot from engineering to the bridge--” said Garrus, tracing his proposed route on the screen. “If we could somehow keep them from noticing us, we could go over, enter through the maintenance airlock, and quietly take engineering.”</p><p>Ashley crossed her arms. “Might have to get lethal there,” she said. “They aren’t gonna let you have it for free.”</p><p>“Maybe, worst case,” Garrus acknowledged. “But concussive rounds should help there.” Ashley conceded the point with a nod.</p><p>“And if we take it, EDI can use the remote to take control of their systems,” said Tali.</p><p>“If we could just get to the bridge, grab Victus, and get out before anyone else notices he’s gone, we could dump the sedative directly on the way out,” mused Shepard. “Hell, we could do it while we’re there-- we’ll have the advantage of knowing we need to armor up. We might not even need engineering.”</p><p>“Could Victus come to us?” said Vega. “If he could get to the airlock, we could evac him while you take engineering?”</p><p>“Yeah,” nodded Garrus. “That could work. Then the actual worst case would be, we shoot our way out again whether we can take engineering or not.” </p><p>“That would depend on being able to make it through their communications blockade again,” Ashley said. </p><p>“I believe it is possible,” said EDI. </p><p>Shepard nodded. “We can drop him a message about Surril and Groban, while we’re at it.”</p><p>Chakwas arrived. “Alright,” she said with a frown. “Just how many turians do you need to take out?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is… a risky plan,” said Ashley, her arms tightly crossed in front of her. They were standing at the workbench in the shuttle bay waiting on the device that EDI and Tali had come up with for delivering Chakwas’ solution.</p><p>“Yeah,” said Shepard, already in full armor, poking at the datapad. “Probably. But it’s no crazier than some of the other shit we’ve pulled.”</p><p>“But what does this buy us?” Ashley asked.</p><p>“Good. That’s exactly the kind of question we need to ask,” Shepard agreed. “Right now? Victus’ life and the stability of the Hierarchy that helped save our asses on Earth.” </p><p>“Fair,” Ashley gave her a protracted nod of acknowledgment. She looked around the bay, and seemingly satisfied with what she saw, lowered her voice and asked, “You gonna be okay?”</p><p>Shepard shot her a hard, disdainful glare. Ashley shot it right back. “Don’t start with me. It’s a fair question,” said the LT. Shepard rolled her eyes but nodded assent.</p><p>“I know we don’t <i>want</i> to shoot up all the turians, but between the three of us on the ground team we <i>could</i>,” Shepard said, “We cleaned up on Benedict just fine and that was a month and a half of PT ago. So yeah. I’m good.” </p><p>Ashley watched her for another long minute as though she could pull the truth out of her expression alone before responding with a decisive nod.  “Got it,” she said. “I trust you.”</p><p>The barest corner of Shepard’s mouth quirked upwards. “Best part is that you can’t threaten to break my knee if I’m lying, because it’s not original.”</p><p>“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Ashley said with a snort of laughter as she pivoted away. </p><p>“I’m also the Commander!” Shepard threw a facetious, imploring hand up in her direction as Ashley walked away. “It’s not as effective coming from you.” </p><p>“Yes ma’am. But as a fellow Spectre--” Ashley stepped into the lift and turned to face her again, her hand on the door controls. “Stuff it, Shepard.” She cracked a grin and a salute as Shepard burst out laughing, and the doors closed.</p><p>Vega’s head snapped up from where he’d been conferring with Cortez and gave her an eyebrow, but she was saved from explanation by her omnitool ping.</p><p>
  <i>Shepard, we’ve got it together; on my way. -T</i>
</p><p>“Alright,” Shepard said, setting down the datapad that she’d been ignoring anyway. “Sounds like it’s time.” Cortez saluted, zipped his jacket up, knocked his knuckles against Vega’s, and hopped lightly into the shuttle. “EDI-- will they see us coming?”</p><p>“Negative, Commander,” EDI responded overhead. “Their sensors are jammed.” After another moment, the lift opened and Tali, Garrus, and Grunt entered the bay. </p><p>“Copy that,” Shepard responded. “Wheels up in two.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>They had no trouble flying up to the Apolex undetected (assuming no one happened to be looking out of any observation windows), and it was beginning to look as though there was a chance they might be able to make it in quietly.  Shepard stood behind Cortez peering through the cockpit window, watching for any sign, good or bad, but all told, it was an entirely uneventful ten minutes. </p><p>“Normandy shuttle one,” EDI’s voice came over the comm system, “maintenance airlock at ten o’clock-- painting it on your viewscreen.”</p><p>They were more or less right on target and Cortez nodded. “Copy that, EDI. We see it. Bringing her in.” He slowed the shuttle and banked smoothly to bring the hatch roughly alongside it, then brought his helmet up. “This is your stop, Commander.”</p><p>“Good job, Cortez,” Shepard said, with a quick squeeze on the shoulder. “We’ll be on short-range comms. When Victus and Pollux get here, get them back to the Normandy ASAP, unless you hear otherwise from Vakarian or me.” </p><p>“Roger that, Commander,” Cortez acknowledged. “Good hunting out there.”</p><p>Shepard strode into the main body of the shuttle already sealing her armor and settling her helmet. She sent a short message to Victus on short-range letting him know it was time, and then looked up. “Ready for drop?”</p><p>“Ready, Commander,” Garrus nodded, tightening the strap of the bag tossed across his back. </p><p>Grunt chuckled and tapped the side of his helmet twice with more force than strictly necessary. “Yes, Battlemaster!”</p><p>“Unsealing the door now,” Shepard said into comms, and began the process. The cockpit door sealed itself, the atmosphere dissipated, and the outer shuttle door hissed quietly as the hydraulics took over. The first thing she could see was a sliver of the curve of the Apolex’s hull silhouetted against the blackest of space, with Callisto still in the middle distance, and she suddenly experienced a moment of absolute, unmitigated, unexplained terror at the sight of the orangish-yellow-brown-blue planet across the void. </p><p>Shepard sucked in a hard breath, focused on the airlock, which she could see clearly now, and tugged up barely on one foot to remind herself that her boots were maglocked on and working just fine. They were, and after one more minute, the ramp extended down and made contact with the hull with a gentle thud that reverberated through her body. Without hesitation, she stepped onto the ramp, holding a breath that she only released once she had finally stepped onto the hull and began working on the door controls.</p><p>The outer airlock opened silently and Shepard motioned Garrus in, then followed. They took up most of the space, which they’d planned for, but it had been a long time since Shepard had been in a maintenance lock. Grunt was going to be a tight fit all on his own. She nodded to him, closed the door, and cycled the airlock. Garrus peered through the window into the interior set high into the door. </p><p>“See anything?” she asked, bracing her hand on his arm once the outer door shut. A quiet countdown timer overlay began over the inner door. </p><p>“Nothing, but the vestibule is pretty dark, and the entrance to the corridor appears shut.”</p><p>“At least they won’t see us coming,” Shepard shrugged. “I’ll take it.”</p><p>The cycle felt as though it took forever, but in reality, it was likely about a ninety-second delay. The light over the inner door turned green and Shepard took the disorienting step into three-fourths gravity. Garrus immediately set the airlock to cycling again for Grunt, and Shepard made her way to the interior door. The airlock clicked over and Shepard nodded, overrode the door while the glowing blue halo around her left hand began to actively crackle in the gloom. She could hear Grunt stepping into the airlock and the clicking cycle beginning again as she ventured a look into the corridor. To the left was engineering, to the right, the bridge, from where Victus should be emerging any moment now. Both directions were far too quiet. </p><p>“It’s clear,” she mumbled into comms.</p><p>The words had no sooner left her lips than the doors in the direction of the bridge began to slide open. Shepard ducked back, holding her hand out to keep Garrus from moving up. She’d moved too quickly to be seen, but a voice echoed down the corridor anyway, accompanied by the sound of boots scuffing on metal. </p><p>“You can come out, Commander--” came the voice that Shepard felt she’d heard, but couldn’t immediately place. “Your asinine little plan to take my prisoner is now over.”</p><p>“Surril,” Garrus growled, and the voice clicked in her head. Grunt came through the airlock and she motioned for him to stay and be silent. He gave her a nod and the blue halo moved to engulf her entirely as she stepped into the corridor. Surril was holding Victus in a position reminiscent of how Caius met his end-- Surril’s arm around Victus’ throat, the other holding a fat weapon under his ribcage. Three other turians she didn’t recognize followed behind, one holding Pollux by the cowl, only to drop her on the deck at his feet as the doors behind them shut again. </p><p>“Hi,” Shepard said, opening her helmet. “Thanks for escorting the Primarch.” </p><p>“Funny,” Surril laughed with no trace of humor, yanking up on Victus’ neck. “I see what you see in her, Vakarian-- she’s as simple as you are. And by all means. If I can take him with me, I still win.”</p><p>Garrus had of course stepped out into the corridor just behind her and to the right of her, rifle in hand, a clear bead on Surril. At this distance, he wouldn’t miss, but Surril still had the clearance to indeed take Victus with him.</p><p>“Let him go, Surril,” Garrus growled. “Just send him over to us, and we’ll go.”</p><p>“Mm,” said Surril. “No. I hadn’t wanted to kill him myself, but at this point, I have no reason not to.”   </p><p>In her peripheral vision, Shepard saw Pollux stir, unnoticed by the other turians, whose weapons were turned in Shepard’s direction. She did nothing to draw attention to it, keeping her eyes instead on Surril. </p><p>“What do you want?” she asked. </p><p>“I <i>wanted</i> the crew to turn against Victus so that when I deposed him for gross negligence, there would be no significant outcry.” He shrugged. “Now you’ve forced my hand.”</p><p>“So,” Shepard said, keeping half an eye on Pollux, who was slowly moving her hand to her sidearm.  “Your people come close to being wiped off of the face of the galaxy, and you’re… jockeying for power?”</p><p>“That’s precisely the problem here, Shepard. Our people need a leader, and--”</p><p>That’s all the monologuing it took. Pollux whipped her sidearm around and squeezed off a shot that went wide, but was enough to distract Surril and allow Victus to throw him most of the way off. A booming shot sounded from the Widow in Garrus’ hands and Surril just crumpled to the deck, a haze of blue mist where his face had once been. The remaining turians opened fire, but her shields took it all, and then a shouting blur charged past her. A moment later, Grunt was crashing into the forwardmost turian, not stopping until he slammed him into the bulkhead with a sickening crunch, then grabbed him by the throat and arm and swung him bodily into the turian next to him. The last turian standing aimed his rifle at Victus but was unable to get a shot off as Shepard launched a particularly effective warp in his direction. He crumpled neatly in half, dropping a deformed rifle with a shriek of crunching metal and a distorted shout. Grunt turned his rifle on that turian and finished the job.</p><p>As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Victus was already rushing back to Pollux, who had shoved herself up onto a knee and was trying to make it the rest of the way up. Victus leaned over, took her arm around his shoulders, and hauled her to her feet. He murmured to her, she nodded and they took an awkward step towards the airlock. </p><p>Grunt squeezed another shot off into the turian he’d sent flying into the opposite bulkhead. Victus’ head swung around in alarm. </p><p>“Didn’t want them following us,” Grunt said without hesitation. Garrus swore under his breath even as he moved forward to help take Pollux’s weight and move them forward, but Shepard shrugged.</p><p>“Get to the shuttle,” she said to Victus. “Cortez has orders to get you back to the Normandy. We’ll finish up here.”</p><p>“What?” said Victus, pausing in his forward momentum. “My crew--”</p><p>“We’re gonna knock ‘em out and give EDI nav controls,” said Shepard with a placating hand. She hadn’t communicated the rest of the plan ahead of time, which as it turned out had been for the best. “We’ll drag the whole ship into orbit around Callisto and treat them there.”</p><p>“Minimal casualties,” said Garrus with half a glare in Grunt’s direction. “Limited to anyone who chooses to directly engage before we get the gas going.”</p><p>Victus swore and looked away. </p><p>“Victus. Move,” said Pollux with some difficulty, and he immediately turned his disbelief on her instead. She took a step forward and he was forced to go with her if he wanted to keep holding her up. “Preserve the Hierarchy.”</p><p>That simple pronouncement seemed to be enough to get Victus moving. Grunt kept watch on the bridge end of the gangway while Shepard covered the engineering end, and Garrus deposited them in the airlock. </p><p>“Good luck,” said Victus, as he engaged his own suit shields. He was reaching over and tapping on Pollux’s armor to engage hers as the doors shut on them. Garrus slapped the window once and returned to the corridor proper as the airlock timer cycled them through. </p><p>“Let’s go,” Shepard said, moving to the door that led to engineering, letting Garrus move ahead of her to override the door while she and Grunt watched their collective back. </p><p>“Do we get to shoot turians now?” asked Grunt, holding his massive rifle on the corridor behind them.</p><p>“No,” both Shepard and Garrus answered testily, and Grunt made a disgusted noise.</p><p>“Mostly no,” said Shepard. “Let’s try and put them down without killing them if we can.”</p><p>“Disappointing, but understood,” Grunt said. “No shotgun.”</p><p>“No shotgun--” agreed Shepard. The doors at the bridge end of the corridor slid open and admitted another set of armed turians, and she found herself adding, “--right now. Vakarian, the door!”</p><p>“Got it--” he responded, and indeed the door was sliding open as the turians advanced. </p><p>Shepard used a biotic throw to send the leader of the pack crashing back into the midst of the remaining three, grabbed at Grunt’s arm (half to keep him from taking a shot), and shouted, “Go!” </p><p>Boots clanging on the deck and guns hot, they ran into engineering proper. Garrus slammed his hand down on the interior door controls, while Shepard and Grunt ran past to secure the main console. Grunt crashed full force into a confused engineer and slammed him to the ground, while Shepard grabbed the other and threw him directly at the door Garrus was feverishly hacking to wire shut.  </p><p>Shepard pointed around the other side of the reactor room and shouted, “Grunt, check for stragglers--” just as a shot ripped through the air in her direction and hit the console behind her with the telltale ‘thunk’ of a concussive shot. Sparks shot up and Shepard turned away instinctively, while an energy blast slammed into a panel next to her head and set off a shrill warning alarm. Grunt rushed into the space where the shots had originated, shouting unintelligibly. There was yet another sickening crunch, a slam, and Grunt returned.</p><p>“Hostile down. I’ll check the other side,” he said. Shepard nodded and consulted her omnitool for a location to plug in EDI’s remote. The turians on the other side of the door resorted to trying to blow the controls out, and the noise was oddly disorienting. Garrus looked up from the controls and shrugged. </p><p>“It’s not gonna hold them off forever. How’s it going over there?”</p><p>Shepard situated EDI’s remote in and poked at her omnitool until EDI’s disembodied voice was audible over the noise.</p><p>“EDI Remote platform 2.0 online. Connecting. Patching into shipboard systems.”</p><p>“Fantastic,” Garrus said, unstrapping the bag he’d been carrying across his back and unclipping the canister inside. </p><p>“Systems online, Commander,” came EDI’s voice. “Assuming control of Apolex navigation and operations.”</p><p>Shepard asked, “EDI, where do we plug this thing in?”</p><p>“Scanning. The necessary port has been damaged by a concussive blow and life support has been diverted.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Shepard swore. “Options?”</p><p>“A secondary port is located on the external hull.”</p><p>Shepard’s eyes went round, and she was infinitely glad to be facing away from Garrus.  “There’s no other way to get to the port? No bypass?”</p><p>“Negative, Commander. There is a conduit that could be used as a bypass, but it is not feasible within the time constraints in place.”</p><p>She shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “Send the waypoint to my nav computer.”</p><p>“Done, Commander,” said the EDI remote, which Shepard supposed at this point was also just EDI, if she had reconnected the communications systems, but that was just filler in her mind for avoiding the fact that--</p><p>“Shepard?” Garrus asked. “Am I talking a walk?”</p><p>“<i>We’re<i> taking a walk. Grunt’s gonna watch EDI. But first, we need to clear that corridor,” she said, nodding at the door he’d just shut. Grunt walked up to stand next to her with a wide smile. </i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Shotgun?” he asked. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah,” Shepard said, sounding disheartened. “For now. Strap it up once the door is shut again though.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, Battlemaster,” he said as he pulled the huge gun and pointed it at the door. Garrus shot Shepard a pained look, but he counted it down nonetheless.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Three--” he said, and Shepard powered up her armor and took aim with her rifle. “-Two. One. Opening doors.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i> ###</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Shepard and Garrus stood crammed into the maintenance airlock again, their armor clacking as they performed a perfunctory check on the seals and locks on their armor. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“EDI’s information claims it’s a twenty-meter walk down the hull to the port. She lit it up on my nav, so,” Shepard said with a single nod before clicking her helmet visor in place. “We’re just going to stroll out there and plug it in, no big deal.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I could do this alone, Shepard,” said Garrus, tilting his head to look at her.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Leave it,” she snapped, tired of being the object of his worry. He shrugged.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Just thought I’d offer,” he said, though his subharmonics were not quite as nonchalant as he pretended to be. “Personally I’d rather have you on my six out there anyway.” His helmet came up, but the glass had not gone opaque yet. He lowered his face until his helmet clacked against hers. She set her jaw, but neither protested nor moved away, she just hit the door controls to decompress the airlock.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>There were a hiss and a rattle. The exterior door split across the middle and the two halves retracted vertically. Shepard was the first out onto the hull, her boots reliably locking onto the surface with every step. With Cortez and the shuttle gone, her view of Alch-- Callisto was unobstructed based on the ship’s current orientation. Still, it was less harrowing than she had expected it to be, not that it would have stopped her either way. She’d taken out a Reaper on foot; she’d stormed the Collector base with a squad of eleven and hadn’t lost one. She could bloody well walk down the hull of a ship and flip some switches. She had in fact, done it before while shooting at husks. What her problem was at this very moment was anyone’s guess. Or, she supposed, was probably due to whatever was crawling through this fucking ship.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>So Shepard walked, one foot in front of the other, watching her nav computer and trusting in her boots, and the reverb from the second set of boots on the hull behind her. It was an entirely uneventful trip to the hatch, and she relaxed a little further when EDI’s voice came through again.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“This is the correct location, Commander.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Garrus knelt and pried at the hull until a small square of plating came away and revealed a hatch, after which he began tapping at his omnitool until it too gave way, this time in the manner of a camera lens, and revealed a small port. Shepard unstrapped the device from her belt. She took a deep breath and plugged it in, successfully showing utter disregard for the fact that she was only maglocked at two points to the outer hull of a spacecraft hovering in such proximity to a planet that was a color too close to the one she had tried so hard to forget, and the pulsing pressure of something trying to touch her consciousness just seemed to get louder the longer she was here. She kept her eyes down, on task, and focused though. One movement, then another-- no problems here.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Insert the device and give it a quarter turn clockwise,” came EDI’s voice in her comms. “Then push it until it is entirely seated. There should be a click you can feel.” Shepard followed instructions, while Garrus watched her, knowing he was surreptitiously monitoring her vitals.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Almost through it,” he murmured through their private channel. She ignored him and kept working. The tube clicked just the way EDI had described and she spoke again.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Got it.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Depress the end as far as it will go, Commander. That should do it.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Done,” said Shepard with a deep breath as she began to pull away. “Let’s get the f--” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>She was suddenly flying backward, her eyes blown wide and locked on Garrus, who was grabbing out for her in a futile attempt to keep her attached to the ship. Shepard shrieked his name without a care for which comm she might be using, her fingers reaching out in front of her this time instead of clawing at her connections. A steady plume of vapor was venting from the port to which she had just attached the device. Garrus darted a look towards the port and then hastily began work on securing the canister, though his eyes redirected back to her.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Commander, I’m picking up distress in all of your vitals, and your location beacon appears to be traveling away from the Apolex; confirming via visuals,” came EDI’s cool voice. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Shepard!” shouted Garrus, again on the private channel. He was prodding furiously at his omnitool, which was pointed at the port while he held the canister in place with a knee. “Hang on.” The venting from the port stopped.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Garrus looked up sharply in alarm as Shepard cut her comms. She didn’t need her crew to hear her being spaced a second time. She tried to think critically; her suit wasn’t reporting any leaks; she could last several hours out here before things really started to go wrong. She might not even end up in the atmosphere; they were still at a fairly high orbit. Hell, this could be worse than Alchera in the end. She could end up drifting slowly away into the black, knowing that the last person who laid eyes on her was Garrus. Good for her; bad for him. Shit. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>A small, sane part of her knew she was panicking; knew all of this was irrational and that her ship was out there and in one piece, but try as she might, she couldn’t force that part to take control. Her heart dashed wildly against her ribcage and all she could do was float. Suddenly, Garrus was getting closer, rather than further away. She shut her eyes and licked her lips, sure this was the last stage of panic-induced madness and hoping she would pass out before the pain set in.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>And then he was crashing into her, grabbing at her inelegantly and sending them both spinning slowly in the vacuum of space. He clutched at her chestplate and pulled himself level with her face-- enough to tap on her helmet near her ear. Panting, Shepard stared in confusion before fumbling to reactivate her comms. When they came back on after three tries, all he could hear was her gasping for air.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“What the hell was that?” he asked with no small amount of heat, born of worry and fear.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I can’t let the crew hear it again,” she said shakily. “They heard me die.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’ve got you, Shepard,” he said, calmly, reasonably. “I’m not letting you go, and there’s nothing to hear except me calling you embarrassing pet names. Breathe,” he reminded her. Her eyes flicked from where they were locked over his shoulder to his face behind the visor. “Shuttle’s already on the way to collect us. Victus is safe and EDI has control of the Apolex. It’s over.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>His words tumbled over the panic roiling in her mind and her breathing slowed by a fraction. It seemed impossible to consider that this wasn’t the end again; that she wasn’t going to die gasping and begging nonexistent deities for the heat to stop; for the air to start; for it all to go black until it finally did. That small, sane part of her grew, and kind of wanted to laugh, but all she could do was refocus and take that breath. That worked out pretty well, so she took another one, and then one more-- a huge, wobbly, labored breath, as though she were surfacing awkwardly from a deep dive. She looked at him again, really seeing him this time. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m--” Shepard started, but didn’t know how to finish. I’m ok? She wasn’t. I’m alive? obviously. I’m a fucking nutcase? That too. I’m embarrassed to have lost my goddamn mind? Well. That was pretty much never going to stop, to be fair. And just like that, she was back in control. She shook her head once, this time a decisive move born of clarity.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hi,” he said. “Welcome back.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hey,” she answered automatically. “Wow, okay.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Alright in there?” he asked.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m… so fucking done with this ship,” she said. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Agreed,” he said. “And I have now literally launched myself into space for you. Are you happy?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>This time she did laugh. It was shaky and on the verge of hysteria, but it was a laugh.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, actually,” she said after a minute. “Thanks.” He cleared his throat but didn’t get a chance to respond.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Commander, shuttle inbound,” came EDI’s voice over her comm.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hey, we could have just come to get you, you know,” said Vega next. “You didn’t have to get all dramatic about it.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Gotta keep you on your toes, Vega,” Shepard said with a small, tired smirk.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah well. Now we’re playing Commander Soccer. We’re gonna run ahead, and open wide to catch you, so just stay on your current course.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Not much we can do about it,” said Garrus. Vega laughed.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I mean, I don’t know, man. I saw that jump.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Ah,” Garrus said, sounding embarrassed. “Extenuating circumstances.” The shuttle came into view from above and, as good as Vega’s word, came to what amounted to a relative hover. The hatch yawned open and Vega stood in it, tethered and helmeted. He issued instructions to the pilot, and the shuttle adjusted its location as the freely floating mass of Commander and Gunnery Officer approached. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Aaaand...” said Vega. “I got you.” He held his arm out and grabbed onto the first available limb, which happened to be Garrus’ ankle, and pulled them fully into the shuttle with minimum bumping against the edges of the hatch. “I’ve got ‘em, we’re in. Close her up.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>The hatch shut slowly and the maglocks re-engaged, sending Vega down to the deck on one knee and Garrus and Shepard simultaneously down in a tangle of armored limbs. The lights over the door cycled from red to yellow to green, the loud hissing ceased, and Vega removed his helmet. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Now let’s go get the med team and trade ‘em for your krogan buddy,” he said. No one was listening. Shepard had yanked her helmet off; Garrus hadn’t bothered to roll off of her before he had done the same.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hi,” she said. He tossed his helmet aside, adjusted his knees on the deck, and planted a hand over her shoulder to take some of his weight off of her. It was clearly automatic; her armor would have held him up without issue. Vega pointed in the direction of the pilot, opening his mouth as though to speak, but stayed rooted to the spot.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Hey,” Garrus answered, reaching out with his other hand and pushing stray locks of hair from her face. “That was exciting.” She burst out laughing, relaxing just a little more.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’re insane,” she said, her hand now clamped to his side. “How did you even know you could catch me?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I have impeccable aim,” he said, voice low and rumbling. “And I wasn’t going to let you drift off alone and leave me stuck on the side of a frigate like some sort of... space barnacle.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Vega and Cortez would have come to get me anyway, you know,” Shepard said ruefully echoing Vega’s assertion. She realized she’d finished that phrase half biting the side of her lower lip, mainly because she was staring at Garrus and apparently couldn’t help it. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I figured we’d make a better target together,” he said as he dropped his forehead to hers and made a sound that shook Vega out of his voyeur coma and sent him on his heel to confer with Cortez. Shepard shut her eyes and leaned into it.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Thank you,” she whispered. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“That’s what I’m here for.” He nuzzled the side of her face. “I think we’ve seen there’s pretty much no limit to the stupid things I’ll do for you.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“We’re uh. About to dock with the Normandy,” said Vega over his shoulder and with a fake cough.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Shepard swore under her breath as Garrus levered himself up quickly and offered her a hand. She took it and was back on her feet within a heartbeat, reaching out to brace herself.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“EDI, what’s the situation on the Apolex?” she asked, at once completely back in the game. Her gaze did however linger on Garrus, filing away that moment for later discussion.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Life signs are present but most are muted as expected. Urdnot Grunt is making his way to the main airlock and reports that all turians present are incapacitated. I currently have control of their navigation system.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Good,” she said with a nod. “Verify that the med team and their escort are prepped and standing by. Their ride is here.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, Commander,” said EDI. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Have we heard from the surface?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes Commander. There are no proper medical facilities to house the crew for the type of treatment necessary, but they have taken Dr. Chakwas’ specifications and are improvising. They claim they will be ready upon our arrival.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Good enough,” she said with a nod. She looked over at Vega. “And hey-- thanks for catching, Vega.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Eh,” he said with a dismissive shrug. “I was already out for the shuttle trip. But thanks for remembering that I’m here.” The shuttle drifted gently through the main port and engaged with the docking arm, and she stood back from the door.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’ll never forget you, Vega,” said Garrus in a low purr, sliding a hand across Vega’s back. Shepard laughed hard as Vega quick-turned to slap at his hand.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Get off, Vakarian,” said Vega, with a huff of laughter. “You may be sexy, but your woman scares me.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>###</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Garrus was watching her like a hawk, which Shepard supposed was fair in that he kind of did resemble a raptor, and that she had indeed flipped her shit pretty obviously within the last hour. Still, she convinced him that she needed a minute after peeling off her armor and headed toward a quiet corner of the shuttle bay.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“EDI,” Shepard said quietly into a private channel.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, Commander?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Can you tell me who could hear my comms out there?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Are you referring to the time span after you reopened them while you and Officer Vakarian were drifting?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes,” Shepard said, pinching the bridge of her nose. The last thing she needed was tales spreading of the legendary Commander Shepard losing her goddamn mind over such a relatively minor incident.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oddly enough, Commander, there was a localized communications failure of unknown origin just then,” said EDI in her impassive, even tone. “Officer Vakarian and I were the only ones who were able to receive your communications.” Shepard stopped short.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Seriously?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes, Commander. Neither Jeff nor anyone else aboard Normandy Actual was able to receive you until the shuttle arrived for pickup.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“EDI. Are you--” ...wait. She’d said ‘Jeff’. “EDI? Is that you?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“That is indeed my name, Shepard. I believe I am to admonish you not to wear it out.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“How?” Shepard could barely contain the hopeful note in that one word.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Tali’Zorah made enough progress in reconstructing my secondary neural nets that I became aware of the effort to restore my memory core backups and independent functionality.  She asked me whether I wanted back whatever she had reconstructed and whether I wanted to participate in the effort at all. I assented and offered a small portion of my cycles that did not interfere with my duties, and am pleased to report that as of yesterday our efforts had led to an 80% restoration of my secondary neural nets, which in turn caused a critical mass of self-actualization as of 0134 today.” Shepard covered her grin with one hand. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Glad to have you back,” she said, voice a little rougher than she expected. She’d lost her share of teammates, but It wasn’t every day she got one back.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“My core programming does not provide an expression for the current state of my… emotional well-being, and I’m not quite back to full performance of all auxiliary systems. But I suspect, I too am glad.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Does Joker know yet?” asked Shepard.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“He does not, Commander,” EDI responded. “I felt it was a subject best addressed once those systems were more solidly reestablished… at perhaps a quieter moment.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Understood,” Shepard said with a half-smile. “I’ll make sure to include you in the next shore leave roster.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Commander--” EDI said, extending the conversation.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah, EDI?” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“I regret not having mentioned that there could be blowback from the pressurized line,” EDI said, inserting a heavy pause before adding, “That was an oversight on my part.” </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“All good,” Shepard said, shooting the briefest look over her shoulder. “I was covered.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“May I assume that I am still being granted shore leave?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yeah,” Shepard said with a laugh. “Yeah. You’re good. Jeff’s free to take your suitcase anywhere you like.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Shepard?" asked Hackett. </p><p>"Yessir," Shepard answered with a slight nod. </p><p>“You sure this is what you want? It’s not too late to change the orders. You’re writing your own ticket here.” </p><p>“Absolutely, sir,” she responded immediately. “Thank you.”</p><p>"Alright. Understood. Consider the necessary arrangements confirmed. And Shepard--” Hackett said with what looked like a genuine smile, “Thanks. Be safe out there. Hackett out."</p><p>The connection went dead and she looked up. </p><p>"EDI. Mandatory all hands to the galley at--" she checked the time; ten minutes would be more than enough "--0900. Crew not on deck need to be on comms, understood?"</p><p>"I’ll notify the crew,” replied EDI’s disembodied voice, “that you’ve decided to abandon us to the XO.”</p><p>“Eh,” Shepard smiled. “You’ll get over it, eventually.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>“She really is abandoning us to the XO though, isn’t she?” Joker said, less surly than he had been in months.</p><p>“I believe that the Commander is just looking for an opportunity to do the most good in a central location,” EDI observed. Her avatar was no longer a stupid blue ball, but a small hologram that resembled her old remote platform. A platform which, incidentally as it turned out, Tali had stashed away in a crate in the depths of the cargo hold hoping for the opportunity to try and bring it back to life, so to speak. Joker had been forced to admit that as much of a ghoul as she was, she was a pretty useful one. He still hadn’t spoken to her directly, but. That might come in time.</p><p>“Well. Good for her, anyway,” Joker said. “I guess.” </p><p>“Would you still prefer to be transferred shoreside as well?” EDI asked. </p><p>Joker made the most derisive sound. “Are you kidding? I’ve got everything I need here. No way they’re gonna pry me from this seat.”</p><p>EDI’s avatar smiled a sideways smile that looked more like Shepard’s smirk than anything else. </p><p>“That’s a relief,” she said. “I’d hate to have to restrain you.”</p><p>Eyebrows up, Joker said, “I don’t want to know who taught you that.” He returned his attention to the console. “But like-- keep it in mind once your body’s back online.”</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Shepard walked into the galley wearing the biggest, most self-satisfied grin she owned, possibly for the first time in public in what felt like years but was probably just the latest in the three weeks that they’d been docked at Callisto and she’d been free of the whispers from the Apolex. Garrus was waiting for her at the counter and it was all she could do not to fling herself directly at him, especially since Williams was standing right there next to him. She settled for winking and stepped right into his personal space to claim the cup of coffee behind him anyway. </p><p>“Are you terrified or is it just me?” mumbled Garrus, absently letting his hand fall onto her hip as she came close. </p><p>“I’m never terrified, Garrus,” she said and took a sip from her mug. “I’m finally letting them promote me.”</p><p>“You’re both gonna get fat and lazy,” said Ashley, also grinning. “And I’m gonna laugh.”</p><p>“I’ve never seen a round turian,” mused Shepard. “Are there any?”</p><p>“No. But I’m willing to experiment for Williams’ sake,” said Garrus. </p><p>“Like a damn volus on stilts,” Ashley muttered, and Shepard almost spit out her coffee. </p><p>“Ash. I’m gonna miss you,” Shepard said after she took a breath. </p><p>“I know what I’m doing without you, though,” Ashley said, heavy on the sarcasm. Garrus flashed her a rude gesture and she slapped his hand away. “Seriously though. You’re leaving me some big ol’ boots to fill, Skipper.”</p><p>“And a display case, because I’m taking my models with me,” Shepard agreed. “And you’d better take care of my fish, or I’ll come find you.” Ashley’s eyes went wide.</p><p>“Oh shit! The captain’s cabin!”</p><p>“All yours,” agreed Garrus amiably. “We’ll even have it cleaned for you. Right after we arrive at Benedict, though, because I’m going to need to--” </p><p>Shepard jammed her hand right up against his mouth to stop that thought in its tracks, muttering, “Don’t”. </p><p>“Ugh,” Ashley grimaced.</p><p>“Whatever,” said Shepard, suddenly struck by a pang of regret. Once they got to Benedict, she would likely never share that ostentatious captain’s cabin with Garrus again; never wake up on the Normandy and run off to whatever disaster came next. She was about to hand over the keys to her baby, probably for good, and she couldn’t help but wonder for the umpteenth time whether she was doing the right thing. Predictably, it was about then that more of the crew began filtering in. Tali and Vega took up spots nearest Shepard, and Grunt just walked behind the counter, begged something that looked like a giant turkey leg off of the mess sergeant, and came back around to negotiate a seat where he could eat and watch. </p><p>“Gonna have to help get my tank baby safely back to Tuchanka, though,” Shepard said under her breath. “He’d kill everyone on the ground in a month if I let him stay with me.”</p><p>Ashley muttered, “Deal.”</p><p>And just like that, it was time. Once again, loudly enough to be heard around the room, she said, “EDI, crew status.”</p><p>“Five crewmembers on comms, the remainder are in the central galley, Commander,” EDI responded. Shepard noticed immediately that she was counting herself again.</p><p>“Thank you, EDI,” said Shepard. “All right, folks. Nothing’s on fire.” Scattered applause and facetious cheers rang out, but instead of giving them a moment, she plowed on, "However. we’ve just received word that the Sol relay is tentatively up and functional.” <i>Now</i> she gave them that moment, beaming out over her crew as they cheered more enthusiastically. “So, our mission parameters are being altered. The Normandy is being ordered back to Earth, with the Primarch, a very small contingent of turians, and one elcor aboard,” she paused for proper emphasis, “under <i>Captain</i> Williams’ command. As of 0800 hours tomorrow, I will no longer be the officer in charge of the Normandy. I’ve been reassigned as the Alliance Director for Planetside Operations, as well as Head of the Joint Task Force on Benedict, so I’ll be staying along for the ride in my scary-ass Spectre Advisor capacity until then.” </p><p>Shepard scanned the room, making eye contact with as many of her crew as she could, as was her habit. There seemed to be disbelief, and confusion as to whether this was good, or bad, or in between from all but her closest allies, who had been informed one-on-one. “This is a move that I can be proud of, but was not a decision that was made lightly. Benedict is in the process of rebuilding and they need a lot of help if our last trip down was any indication. I, in turn, need a base with a beach within walking distance.” General laughter-- good. “Speaking of which, I’m also taking Vakarian with me, who has coincidentally been placed in charge of Hierarchy Operations on Benedict. But don’t worry-- I hear Canon Chief Norlan has the Thanix covered.” More laughter. “I’m not gonna get mushy on you, but know that I appreciate, and am genuinely going to miss each and every one of you,” she said with a nod, even as the applause and wolf-whistling began to ratchet up.  “Dismissed. Now get out of here, before someone starts having emotions at me.”</p><p>There was a riot of noise and conversation, and Shepard was mobbed with handshakes and wishes for good luck, as was Ashley. She stayed in the mess for every last one.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>In her N7 armor again, some four weeks later, carrying a small bag as Vega himself coordinated getting her cases on the shuttle, Shepard took a deep breath and stepped out the lift into the shuttle bay proper. From behind her, Garrus shouted, “Commander on deck!” She shot him a look, but everyone on the deck stopped to salute and so she had to respond in kind.</p><p>“At ease, crew,” she said, her voice only a little hoarse. She approached her friends standing near the workspace and smiled. “So. Which one of you is giving us a ride?”</p><p>Cortez raised his hand. “I got you, Commander.”</p><p>Vega raised his hand too. “And I’m coming along to the surface so he doesn’t get lonely on the way back.”</p><p>“How’s it looking?” she asked in general.</p><p>“Ready when you are,” he responded. “Your gear is onboard and we’re all greenlights.” </p><p>“Alright,” she nodded. “Guess this is it.”</p><p>“Shepard,” said Tali. Her head was tilted, her hands clasped in front of her and one step from being wrung. “I’m going to miss you.”</p><p>“Get out of here,” Shepard said, holding a hand out to her. “You’re gonna be great. And you know where to find me.”</p><p>Tali ignored her hand and hugged her fiercely. “And I will.”</p><p>Shepard hugged back hard. She wasn’t much of a hugger, but she’d already had to make a lot of exceptions today and she wasn’t actually half sorry about it. Victus, Joker, half the bridge crew. Duffy. <i>Grunt</i>. Honestly. She’d have been a little weirded out if she hadn’t been so damn... <i>hopeful</i> just then.</p><p>“Captain,” Shepard said as she moved on to let Tali openly sob into her hug for Garrus, who to be fair, was also making distressed sounds to match. </p><p>“Don’t do it, Shepard,” Ashley said, holding a hand out. “I’m not gonna get all--” she said, paused, looked at the ceiling of the shuttle bay, blinked hard, and then held her arms out. “Goddammit. Never mind. Get in here.” Shepard obliged. </p><p>“I’m gonna miss you, Ash,” Shepard said, returning the hug, thumping her gently on the back. </p><p>“Yeah, you are. And sooner than you think, too,” said Ashley. “You two are gonna be so bored.”</p><p>“Tell that to the assholes that opened fire on us three months ago,” said Shepard, finally stepping back. </p><p>“Fair enough,” Ashley acknowledged. “If you ever need us to swing by and shoot the shit out of ‘em though--”</p><p>Shepard laughed. “I know who to call.” She stopped and smiled. “Take care. You got this.” </p><p>“I know,” Ashley smirked. She covered the lower half of her mouth with one hand briefly, took a breath, then saluted. “Commander.”</p><p>“Captain,” Shepard said, returned the salute, and made for the shuttle.</p><p> </p><p>###</p><p> </p><p>Williams stood, feet planted solidly on the bridge of the Normandy. It had been weeks since she had taken over as commanding officer, but it still felt a little like cosplaying. She wondered how long it would take to sink in. She wondered if perhaps it would sink in faster now that Shepard was gone. She figured she should have asked the woman while she had a chance, but now it would have to wait for a message drop. Instead, she cleared her throat, put her hands on the rail around the swirling galaxy map, and started down the list.</p><p>“Traynor, report.”</p><p>“All crew aboard and at their stations, Captain; all systems reporting in the green.”</p><p>“Daniels and Donnelly.”</p><p>“Engines are go, Captain.” came Donnelly’s familiar brogue.</p><p>“We’re ready,” agreed Daniels.</p><p>“Norlan.”</p><p>“Professional, Restrained excitement: Weapon systems are online and at the ready, Captain.”</p><p>“EDI.”</p><p>“Navigation and Operations systems online, Captain.”</p><p>“Joker.”</p><p>“Still highly caffeinated and ready to rock and roll, Cap. It’s looking good out there.”</p><p>“EDI, open a shipwide channel,” said Williams, continuing when she received an affirmative.  “Normandy Crew and guests: FTL transit beginning in T-1 minute. We should be getting back to Earth in just under four days, and I’d like to say it’ll be easy, but I fuckin’ know better. Let’s move out, soldiers.”</p><p>This time the applause, laughter, and somewhere an isolated “OO-RAH!” were her responsibility. The same bridge tech gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up, and Williams nodded as EDI started the countdown. She felt good. In charge. Cautiously optimistic. </p><p>“Joker? Get us home. And step on it.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun beat down on more skin than Shepard could recall having exposed in public since… maybe a shore leave sometime in the academy? When was the last time she’d been on a beach without armor and ready for a fight? For that matter, when was the last time she’d had a day planetside where she wasn’t ready for a fight? She wondered if she should be ready for a fight, after all? It seemed unlikely, and inconvenient given the two very cold drinks that were currently filling her hands, but--</p><p>“Excuse me,” said the handsome turian she’d been eyeing unapologetically. “You’re standing in my sun.”</p><p>“I happen to be in possession of two of the local fruity drinks and a report from the guards on the approaches that they’re all clear,” she said, lowering her sunglasses to peer at him over the top as she shifted her balance into a more exaggerated hipshot. “And I’m told that I’m an excellent conversationalist. May I join you?” </p><p>He stretched idly, limbs spilling from the confines of the blanket the locals made out of the native grasses for the sand side, and some sort of soft business for the other, and that’s when Shepard realized it was war. “Not gonna lie, that all sounds pretty great, but I would have to sit up to drink them and that’s a problem.” </p><p>“I brought straws,” Shepard said, pretending to suddenly notice that one of the slushy drinks was spilling, and licked the edge of the glass carefully before popping the straw into her mouth and taking a drink, and adding, “Oh wow. These really <i>are</i> good.”</p><p>“Not gonna crack,” he muttered even as he came up onto his elbows, and Shepard had to bite the inside of her lip not to laugh. “That is, and exactly who are you?”</p><p>The burgeoning smirk blossomed, taking over her entire expression, and she opened her mouth to answer something about being the savior of the galaxy, but stopped and reformulated it. “I’m the Sheriff around these parts,” she said, “Doing my part to protect the innocents and whatnot.”  </p><p>He patted the blanket next to him, “Tell me more.”</p><p>Shepard handed down the glass marked with a green base and folded her left leg to sit in the indicated spot facing him, letting her knee rest against his thigh. “I’m also the queen of the bottle shooters.” She took a drink. “And you are?” </p><p>“Intrigued.” He set his drink down in the sand and sat up to face her. “What made you come over?”</p><p>“I have a thing for--” his eyes were on her, intent, and she licked her lips. She’d originally planned to plead some snarky combination of ‘scars’ or ‘muscles’ or ‘radiation-resistant plating’ or ‘vigilantes’, but she couldn’t help it. It was her turn to crack under that gaze. “--you, specifically.” She grinned. “I didn’t notice anyone else around.” </p><p>“I don’t know how those poor guards gave you a report with a straight face,” Garrus said, leaning in to run a hand along her exposed back. “How could anyone not be distracted by you?”</p><p>“They worked it out,” she said, already tilting her head in his direction. “I only caught one looking.”</p><p>“That’s it, I’m gonna--” he said, stopping his forward progress and making as though he was going to stand. </p><p>“Sit your ass down, Garrus,” she said with a laugh, yanking him back down by the shoulder. “Focus.”</p><p>“Ok, focus,” he said, nuzzling the side of her face. “Right. Where was I?”  </p><p>On a beach, in an ever after that seemed happy enough for now, even with the occasional gunfight. Considering that she hadn’t expected one at all? Shepard would take it.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>